


Symphonia

by darkrose9314



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Family, Pregnancy, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:08:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29683050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkrose9314/pseuds/darkrose9314
Summary: Set two years after the events of A Court of Silver Flames, Nesta and Cassian start their next big journey together. (Please don't read if you don't want to be spoiled for A Court of Silver Flames.)
Relationships: Nesta Archeron & Cassian, Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 15
Kudos: 131





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for a good family fanfiction so I decided to write one of my own.

“I’m-What?” Nesta asked her eyes widening slightly Madaja’s hand still laid on her stomach as she looked over to where Feyre sat with a two-year-old Nyx in her arms fidgeting at the thought of sitting still. 

Feyre and her had been training with Nyx being watched by Elain who had been showing him the House of Wind and the renovations Nesta had been making to it before Nesta had passed out and Feyre had called Madaja. Nesta had just believed that she had exhausted herself during training and not had enough water, but she was far off from the truth. 

“You’re pregnant. Six weeks to be exact. “ 

“I-I don’t understand. I’ve been drinking my tea consistently. How can I be pregnant?”

“Contraceptives aren’t always a hundred percent effective and with the mating bond firmly in place-“ Madaja trailed off. She didn’t need to. 

Nesta laid her head back down on the pillow as Madaja continued. 

“Did you want to hear the baby’s heartbeat?” She asked before Feyre interrupted.

“Madaja, do you mind if I had a moment with my sister alone?” She asked. 

“Of course, my lady.” She answered leaving the room as Nesta laid her hand atop of her stomach. 

A baby. Her baby. Cassian’s baby. Their baby. Tears prickled at the edges of Nesta’s eyes as Feyre took her other hand. 

“How are you feeling?” Feyre asked proceeding with caution. Sitting beside Nesta on the bed, Nyx outstretching his arms towards Nesta. Nesta sat up gathering Nyx in her arms and holding onto him tight.

“Terrified. Elated. A million other things. I-I have no idea how I’m going to tell Cassian. I don’t even know how he’s going to react when he finds out. We weren’t planning on having children for a while.” 

“Well, nothing ever really goes to plan for us, does it?” 

A smile crossed Nyx’s face as Nesta held onto him. 

“No” Nesta smiled. “It doesn’t.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m happy for you. Both of you.”

“Thank you.” Nesta smiled, gratefulness filling her heart. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Feyre threw her arms around Nesta pulling her into a hug with Nyx between them. Giving Nyx back to his mother, Nesta placed her hand over her stomach feeling what Feyre must have felt not too long ago. She had barely found out about her child not too long ago, but she already felt such overwhelming feelings for her child. Her love for anyone else could not compare. Not even her love for the father of her child. That’s when an idea came to her. 

“Can I ask you for two favors?” Nesta asked Feyre. 

“Of course.”

“Will you stay with me? To hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time?”

“I’d be honored. What’s the second favor?” 

“I know how I want to tell Cassian, but I may need your help figuring out how to do it.” 

Feyre grabbed Nesta’s hand and squeezed. 

“Whatever it is, there’s no doubt that we could figure it out together.” 

Nesta smiled glad that her sister was there. 

Cassian stepped into the foyer of the house glad to finally be home after a week of being away from his mate. He couldn’t wait to spend every spare moment he could making up for their lost time as he stepped into the kitchen, Nesta was by the stove. Her hair down in loose curls seeming perfectly content and relaxed. 

“Good morning, Sweetheart.” He whispered in her ear wrapping his arms around her waist and placing his lips on her neck about to inhale her scent as she whirled around surprise filling her features. 

“You’re back.” She smiled. It was one of the most beautiful sights in the world. 

“I couldn’t stay away.” He smiled back closing the distance between their mouths and kissing her. His lover. His mate. 

“I have something for you.” She said abruptly catching him by surprise as she moved to where a small package laid on the table. He hadn’t seen it when he had arrived. 

“I thought you weren’t much a gift giver.” Cassian stated as Nesta put the package in his hands. 

“Usually I’m not, but this one was so perfect that I couldn’t resist.” She smiled. “Go ahead and open it.” 

Smiling, Cassian carefully unwrapped the paper and laughed slightly at what was in the box pulling out the symphonia he had given her two solstice’s ago. 

“Regifting?” he teased as Nesta clasped his hands with her own. 

“I may have added something to it. Go ahead and play it.” She stated. Anticipation filling her features. 

“So eager.” He answered a kiss to her cheek as he played the symphonia and was caught by surprise when music didn’t play back for him. A chuckle escaping his lips.

“You found a way to put your heartbeat in the symphonia. I’m impressed.” He smiled about to kiss her before she grabbed his hand and rested it over her stomach. 

“No. Not my heartbeat.” She whispered, realization hitting him at the impact of her words. 

“Nesta-Are you-“ He started not sure how to say the words. All kinds of emotions filling him. At his wife, his mate standing before him telling him this life changing news. 

“I am.” She smiled placing her hand atop of his. “I know it happened before we planned it to but I-“

Before she could say more, Cassian kissed her. Saying what words couldn’t convey. The sound of their baby’s heartbeat filling their ears. A beautiful melody. 

She pulled away breathless. “Are you happy?” she asked. Their hands still on her stomach. 

“I’ve never been happier. “ he answered kissing his mate again, ready to start their next journey together.


	2. Duet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta and Cassian discuss the baby and Cassian makes a vow.

The remnants of dawn broke through the windows as Nesta laid peacefully on her back as Cassian’s fingertips gently brushed against her abdomen, eyes still transfixed and mesmerized by the life they had created together. 

She knew she wasn’t far along, knew that she wasn’t showing yet and she couldn’t feel anything yet, not even a trace of morning sickness plagued her. Had it not been for her passing out during training, she wouldn’t have been aware of her pregnancy at all. But she found herself looking forward to it. Looking forward to every milestone, every moment she got to experience this. And she knew Cassian felt the same, but she also couldn’t help some doubts that plagued her. They would have to cross that bridge when they came to it too. But first there was something else they needed to take care of. 

Turning on her side carefully to look into the depths of his hazel eyes, Nesta took a couple of seconds to gaze upon him. This male who had saved her in more ways than one. And she him. She wished they could keep this a secret for as long as possible. Be contained in their blissful bubble of martial bliss, but she knew one way, or another the remainder of their family would find out. If not by her scent alone. Damn heightened fae senses. 

“We need to them about the baby. Well besides Feyre and Elain. They already know. I figured you should be the one to tell Azriel and Rhysand about the baby. Before my sister does.” Nesta smiled splaying her fingers across her womb. A fierce protectiveness crossing Cassian’s face. Knowing that no matter how many dark thoughts plagued her mind about the pregnancy, his matched. 

“Do you want them to know?” Cassian asked his hand laying atop of hers interlacing their fingers. 

“They’ll find out sooner or later, besides, I wouldn’t ask you to keep such a huge secret from them and as soon as I walk in that door again, they’ll be able to scent it on me. “

“We could ask Feyre about the impenetrable shield. Mask your scent until you feel comfortable enough to tell them.” 

Worry creased her brow as she stroked Cassian’s face. 

“Is there some other reason you don’t want Rhysand and Azriel to know?” she asked unsure about his answer. 

“It’s not the fact that I don’t want them to know. It’s just that, I just found out yesterday that my mate is pregnant, and I know it may be selfish. I know that eventually we’ll have to tell people but- I want it to be just us three right now. I want to lay here with you and just bask in the fact that we’re having a baby. Feyre and Elain already got to share one of the first experiences with you, because I wasn’t around when you found out. That I didn’t get to see the look on your face when you found out that you were carrying our child. I just wish I would have saw it. “He stated regret filling his voice. 

She smiled placing his hand on top of her abdomen again, feeling the warmth from his fingers. 

“I’m six weeks.” She started. “Nyx and Feyre were in the room with me when I found out. I felt so many emotions. I was surprised at first, anxious because I don’t know the first thing about being a mom, but then I felt this all-consuming love. One that I’ve never felt before. And when I heard our baby for the first time, I had never heard a sound so beautiful. It was as if nothing and no one existed in the world besides me and our child. Madaja wanted me to come back with you later in the week to go over the dos and don’ts of this pregnancy. It won’t be easy. There will be moments of doubt, moments of fear that we can’t shake no matter how hard we try, but we’ll have each other to get us through. We’ll have each other to remind ourselves that it’s not just about us anymore. That this baby is our top priority, but we can get away for the week. Just you and me. Go away somewhere private until our visit with Madaja. Feyre and Elain won’t say anything, I’ve already told them to keep it a secret until we’re ready to tell everyone. So, whenever you’re ready to tell them. We’ll tell them together.” Nesta promised gently squeezing his hand, he brought it up to his mouth and kissed it tenderly. 

“One more day.” He announced and she nodded moving her body closer to his. Encasing herself in his warmth as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. 

“One more day.” She promised as they stayed their locked in each other’s embrace. 

His mate had fallen asleep in his arms as he stroked her hair contemplating what he had ever done to deserve all this in his life. He knew it was a foolish thought. Knew it was just his demons coming out to play, but as his mate slept peacefully in his arms, their child growing inside of her, he couldn’t help that bit of doubt that he wouldn’t be enough for them. That he never would be enough in general. It was something he still worked on, even after 500 years of life, but he also knew that Nesta had been correct that this wasn’t about them anymore. That this was about Their son or daughter. The life they were now responsible for. He found himself reaching towards her abdomen touching it lightly and uttering the words. 

“I promise that I’ll do my best to make sure that no harm ever comes to you. That you don’t spend a moment thinking that you are unloved or unwanted. I will make sure this world is a better place for you and your mother. And I’ll do my best to protect all of us from whatever may come next. I promise.” He vowed a silent tear slipping down his cheek at that promise. A promise he would fight like hell to keep as he pulled his mate closer feeling like there was no one else in this world besides them as he let himself sleep, dreaming about what the future would hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another short, but sweet chapter that i decided to write, I'll be writing longer chapters starting next chapter. The next chapter will be about Nessian announcing their pregnancy to their loved ones, which will also include the valkeries. and we'll also get the scene with madaje and Cassian getting to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time not through the Symphonia. So prepare for an emotional chapter!!!


	3. Trio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian and Nesta prepare to tell their family the big news and Cassian hears his and Nesta's babies heartbeat for the first time for the first time.

Two Weeks Later 

“Mind if I join you?” Cassian asked sitting on the edge of the tub as she popped open one eye smiling up at her mate. 

It had been two weeks since Cassian had told Rhysand that the two of them were going up to Cassian’s cabin in the mountains for a second honeymoon. Two weeks away from prying eyes and the hustle and bustle of the city so she could adjust to her pregnancy symptoms. All manageable except the gods damned morning sickness that had finally started earlier last week. 

“Always.” She smiled as her eyes landed on the two books that were laying in his lap. “What are you reading?” 

“I may have asked Feyre for a few books on fae pregnancy, I-I wanted to be prepared. I don’t want you to go through any of this alone. I want to be able to understand everything I can, and I figured this would be a good start as any.” He admitted as a smiled crossed over his face. 

“We’ll be able to find out more when we get back. Madaja is coming to the house when we get back this afternoon and the around eight everyone will be over for our first annual family dinner at the House of Wind.” She smiled, running her fingers down her stomach. She wasn’t showing yet, that would take a couple more weeks, but she still couldn’t help herself. 

During the nights, her and Cassian discussed plans to transform one of their rooms into a nursery all while discussing how to baby proof the house. She guessed the house would be more than willing to oblige, it had done the same when Nyx would spend the night with them. Always willing to cater to Nyx’s every whim. She wondered what the house would do when their baby arrived. 

Stripping himself of his clothes, Cassian climbed into the tub behind her pulling her to him and resting his hand across her belly as she leaned her head back against him. A sense of content filling her even though she knew that this would be their final moment of peace before they had to return to their normal life. She wanted to hold onto it for a bit longer. 

“Our baby is the size of a raspberry according to those books.” She found herself saying. She had already read them twice. “But I found nothing in their about when they’ll develop their wings.”

“If they do.” He stated tracing circles over her stomach. 

“If?” she asked, her eyebrows bunching up.

“Since the baby is only half Illyrian, they may or may not develop wings. We won’t know until at least the second trimester.” 

“Would you-Would you mind if they didn’t?” She asked. 

His hand stopped mid-stroke as he pulled her closer. 

“I wouldn’t mind either way. In all my years of existence I thought I would never get to where I’m at today. Whether our child has more Illyrian or high fae features makes no difference to me. Wings or no wings, I’ll always feel like our child is perfect just the way they are. And if anyone has a problem, well they can come say it to my face.” He grinned, her heart soaring at the sight. The weight of his words.   
“Have I told you how much I love you?” She smiled as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her mouth. 

“As much as I love you.” He smiled pressing another kiss to her mouth. She wished that they could always stay in this blissful moment. “Have you washed your hair yet?” 

“No.” She breathed interlocking their fingers. 

Reaching over to where the shampoo and conditioner was Cassian squeezed a dollop in his hands and smiled. “May I?” 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” She interjected as he rubbed his palms together. 

“I want to, it’s the least I can do for my pregnant mate who has to deal with carrying my child for a whole ten months.” He smiled. 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” 

“I’m not the one who has to go through the morning sickness and grow a child inside me. I can do things for you to remind you how much I appreciate you.” He reminded her as she leaned back into him. 

“Then by all means, mate, go ahead.” 

Working his hands in her hair, Nesta let herself relax as Cassian worked on her hair careful to get every strand and gently massaged her scalp even going as far as to massage other places of her body until it was time for her to rinse. 

“Thank you.” She grinned leaning in for a kiss, his hand cupping her cheek. 

“You’re welcome.” He stated as she rinsed her hair. 

When she was finished, she grabbed a dollop of shampoo and conditioner as well, his eyes going to it. 

“Did I miss something?” 

“No. Now it’s your turn.” She proclaimed, a smile crossing his lips as she leaned over to kiss him and take care of her mate. 

Once they were fully clean and satisfied, Nesta and Cassian packed up the few belongings they had brought up to the cabin as Cassian tucked Nesta into him tight bounding up to the sky, careful not to trigger her morning sickness as Nesta took in the afternoon sky feeling the wind on her face. Happy to be in the arms of the man she loved. He gently landed still caring her in his arms to make sure she had settled as he carried her over the threshold of the house gently setting her on the couch. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked leaning down beside her. 

“I’m doing fine.” She smiled propping herself up so she could see him better. 

“You should at least rest until Madaja gets here. I wouldn’t want you to overexert yourself. “ 

“We have a lot to do before everyone gets here Cass, I-“ 

“Nesta please.” He interrupted a plea in his words as she grabbed his hand. 

“Tell me what’s wrong. Why are you so worried?” 

“Part of it is the natural reaction to a mated male having a pregnant mate, but the pregnancy has also heightened my senses as well, not just to protect you, but to protect-“

“The baby as well.” She finished and he nodded. 

“I still haven’t found a sense of balance for this yet.” He admitted. 

“We can ask Gwyn when she gets here about some mind settling exercises for this. Surely there must be something about the subject in the library. “

“Maybe It’ll help.”

“Maybe when you talk to Rhysand about it, he can help.”

“Rhysand would be the last person I ask for advice on how to be less overprotective.” Cassian teased his hand placed firmly on her stomach once more. 

“Then maybe Madaja has some advice. Who knows maybe some of your fears will settle when you hear our child’s heartbeat for the first time?” She suggested. 

“Well, I have been listening to it ever since you gave me the Symphonia.” 

“That is true, but you may feel differently when you hear it in person.” She reminded him squeezing his hand gently as he caressed her fingers with his kiss. 

“Maybe.” He smiled getting up. “Rest Ness. I’ll wake you when Madaja gets here.” 

Nodding, Nesta rested her head against the pillow letting herself drift into a peaceful sleep knowing she was safe and at peace in her own home. 

“How is our mother to be doing this afternoon?” Madaja asked coming into the room that Nesta and Cassian had made their bedroom, Nesta now propped firmly on the bed with Cassian by her side. 

Vigilant as always. Assessing every corner of the room to make sure no harm would come to Nesta or the child even if it were just Madaja. Nesta squeezed his hand reassuringly before continuing.

“I’m hanging in there. The morning sickness finally started last week, and my breast are getting a little more tender.”

“Well, that’s to be expected. Your body will go through a lot of changes to accommodate your child. Ginger should help with the sickness and crackers as well. Make sure you always have something handy. Morning sickness can strike no matter what time of day. Best to be prepared. We’ll just be running a few test today to check the babies progress and see how they’re progressing. Your mate might want to step outside while I draw blood though and ‘m going to need a urine sample as well for other test. “Nesta nodded looking at Cassian as he squeezed her hand and went outside knowing that this part he would have to stay outside for.

If he couldn’t stand the sight of Nesta bleeding before their bond had snapped into place than he wouldn’t be able to now. He would have to find a way to control it. Make it through the process of labor where he would have to see his mate in pain. Would have to find some way to bear it.

A short while later, Madaja called him back in the room explaining to Nesta that it would take a week or two to run the test, but to not worry as she turned to Cassian and smiled. 

“Now for the best part. Would you like to see your baby?” Madaja smiled. 

“See?” Cassian asked looking at Nesta who was glowing. 

“I told you it was different in person.” Nesta smiled grabbing Madaja’s hand while extending her other to Cassian. Madaja’s hand firmly placed on where their baby grew. “This is my favorite part.” 

Grabbing Nesta’s hand, Cassian knelt beside her looking at Madaja. “Close your eyes and open the bond between you.” Madaja instructed. 

Cassian closed his eyes, opening his side of the bond between him and his mate, feeling her warmth and joy and laughter. The gold light that had always radiated between them. And something else, a different light filling their bond. A mix between his essence and Nesta’s. Their child. This beautiful life they created between them. Filling Cassian with a joy he never knew existed as an image finally took hold. The baby was small, barely starting to take form within his wife, within his mate, but they were there. As tears spilled from his eyes and Their heartbeat filled his ears. Nesta was right. It was different in person, better than he could have imagined, and when he opened his eyes at last, he found that his mate was crying too. 

He leaned his forehead against hers, letting their tears of joy mix as he leaned in and kissed her, soft and deep, never wanting to let her go as he pulled his mate into his embrace placing his forehead against hers as they smiled. Joy and laughter saying what words could not as one of his hands landed on her stomach. 

“I’ll see you guys again at twelve weeks. I left Nesta with some papers on what she should do until then. But for right now, I’ll leave you two alone to enjoy this moment. Congratulations you two.” Madaja smiled exiting the room as the world faded away and it was only them and their child between them. 

Cassian didn’t know how long Nesta and him lay there, their hands on Nesta’s abdomen as the memory of their child’s heartbeat and the image flooded over him. 

“That was incredible.” Cassian whispered to her, kissing her forehead, and stroking her hair. 

“I don’t think, I’ll ever get used to it.” She whispered back snuggling closer to him. Wanting to feel closer to him. “It’ll always amaze me no matter how many times I see our baby or hear their heartbeat. I can’t imagine the emotions I’ll feel when I feel when I finally start showing or feel them move… or kick.. or when we finally figure out if we’re having a boy or girl… it wouldn’t matter to me as long as they’re happy and healthy, but I will admit settling on a name will be one of those moments that will feel…”

“Amazing.” 

“Exactly. Although I firmly believe will be tossing around ideas until we see our child’s face for the first time.” She proclaimed his fingers running over her stomach gently. As if mesmerizing the same thing he was. 

“When you see them when you dream about our baby. What do you see?” He found himself asking. 

“Sometimes I dream of us having a boy, sometimes a girl. Sometimes it ends up being twins.” She smiled as he chuckled. 

“Twins. Really?” 

“You never know.” She smiled. “But I can imagine they’ll come out looking like you. It always seems to end up that way. But maybe, just maybe they’ll have my eyes. Who knows maybe they’ll end up having hazel eyes that change between your color and mine? I heard that can happen sometimes.: she shrugged. “However, they turn out, it won’t matter. They’ll be perfect either way.” 

“That they will.” He smiled pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

“We should really get started in prepping for our family coming. No matter how much I love this.” She smiled pulling away from him. 

“What do you think we should make?” 

“This may sound silly, but I feel like doing something unexpected. “She mused. 

“And what would that be?” he asked as a mischievous smile crossed her face making him wonder what he had gotten himself into. 

Her laughter filled the air as Cassian pulled her close closing the distance between their lips, deepening his kiss as she leaned against the counter knowing that no matter how many years passed, he would never get enough of her. 

Pulling away slightly before he lost all sense of control, Cassian whipped the muffin batter that had fallen on her cheek and placed his thumb in his mouth savoring the taste. 

“Delicious.” He replied heat passing through his gaze as her cheeks flushed with color. 

“Maybe later I’ll let you get a taste.” She teased as he kissed her once more. 

“I’d like that.” He growled pulling away before he said fuck all to everything and took her right there, right now. 

Before she said anything further, a knock sounded on the door startling her as she looked at the clock. 

“It’s only 7. Who comes an hour early?” she muttered as Cassian sniffed the air smelling the familiar scents. 

“Elain and Feyre apparently.” A smile tugged at the edge of his lips. He hadn’t seen them in two weeks, but like Nesta he had been looking forward to it. Even if they did get the first moments of finding out about his mate’s pregnancy before he did. He was glad Nesta had someone else to talk to other then him. A person who had been through pregnancy before. Judging based off the fact there was only two scents, he guessed that Nyx was with Rhysand. 

“You two are here early.” Nesta said opening the door as Feyre and Elain stepped through the threshold, his senses on high alert having to remind his senses that these were her sisters, and they would bring the child or Nesta no harm. He could only imagine how bad it would be in a whole house full of people. Damn territorial fae instincts. 

“We heard you two were actually attempting to cook for tonight and seeing as how you two could both burn water, we thought we would stop by and help.” Feyre stated as her, Elain, and Nesta made their way into the kitchen. His eyes assessing the room as Feyre smiled at him knowing all too well what that look was about. 

“We’re not that bad.” Nesta challenged as Elain looked at the state of the kitchen.

“Is that why the kitchen looks like a mess?” Elain teased as Nesta crossed her arms, a knowing smile on knowing smile on her lips. 

“We can’t all be master bakers Elain. “Nesta proclaimed as Elain stuck her finger in the muffin batter and tasted it. 

“Not bad for a beginner. Do I detect lemon-blueberry?” She smiled.

“You’d be correct.” Nesta smiled throwing another look over to Cassian. 

“Be grateful it wasn’t a dry biscuit.” Cassian teased giving Nesta a knowing look. Earning him a smile from his mate. 

“Do you need any help with the other items?” Elain asked. Looking over to where they had started the other breakfast items. Feeling the room with other aromas masking the scent of their child that way the announcement would be a surprise. Just so long as Nesta stayed in the room with all the food. 

“You can help me by starting up the bacon.” Nesta instructed as Elain smiled at her. In her element. Elain had always been the better cook out of the three. 

The three worked in tandem, making jokes here and there and catching up on what had been going on in there lives for the past three weeks including Cassian in bits and pieces of the conversation before an hour flew by, plates gathered at the table as the sisters observed their work giving each to her high fives as A knock sounded at the door. 

Feyre told Nesta she would take care of it as Cassian went to Nesta’s side squeezing her hand in reassurance as Mor, Emerie, and Gwyn entered the room Nesta, Gwyn, and Emeire smile broadly at each other as Cassian tensed. He hoped the food did enough to mask Nesta until they were ready to tell everyone as Nesta’s sisters in arms crossed the space between them and enveloped her in a hug.

“We missed you these last two weeks at training Nesta. Where has Cassian been hiding you at?” Emerie joked. 

“Cassian surprised me with a second honeymoon.” Nesta smiled. “How could I possibly say no?” 

“Well, I hope it was well worth it.” Gwyn smiled sending a wink in Nesta’s direction. 

“That it was. “Nesta answered as the two took a step back and Cassian went over to hug Mor.

“Hey stranger.” He smiled. “How are things?” 

“Better than expected.” She smiled looking over to Emerie, a smile on her face. He was happy that his friend had finally found true happiness like he had with Nesta. 

Nesta looked over to Mor and smiled giving her a hug as well and welcoming her as Mor stiffened a small gasp about to escape her lips as she held it back looking over to Cassian. Truth. Mot’s gift had always been the truth. Shit. 

Shock filled Mor’s features before she shot a look over to Cassian. Happiness for him and Nesta shone in them as she nodded her understanding knowing it wasn’t her secret to tell. 

“Now all we need is for Azriel, Nyx, Amren, and Rhysand to arrive and then we can dig in.” Feyre interjected sensing the mood in the room and shooting Mor a warning look before making her way to the dining room as Mor turned to Nesta. 

“it’s nice to see you too Nesta.” She answered squeezing Nesta’s hand before making her way to the dining room with Feyre as Nesta looked over to Cassian momentarily about to brush her fingers to her stomach before fighting the urge. Clasping her hands together instead before Cassian made his way to her and took her hand instead. She smiled at him reassuring him that she was okay as he fought his own urge to place his other hand on her stomach. One step at a time. And after tonight everyone who mattered to them would know, they would not hide the truth much longer, all they had to do was wait another hour or two until everyone was settled. 

Another knock came as Mor hoped up to grab whoever was at the door coming back with Amren who had Varian in tow. Amren smiled at Nesta and a smile at Cassian as well, the engagement ring on her finger dazzling as she grabbed Varian’s hand and murmured her greetings. Thankfully Amren wasn’t the hugging type. As she made her way to the dining table as the other knock sounded and Cassian pressed a kiss to the side of Nesta’s head before going to greet his brothers.

Opening the door, Cassian plastered a smile on his face as Azriel, Nyx, and Rhysand came into his line of vision. His back stiffened slightly but he chocked in down as hard as he could. Calm. He told himself as his brothers exchanged looks sensing something off about him but not saying much. 

“Come in.” Cassian insisted. “We were just about to start.” 

Rhysand, Azriel, and Nyx crossed the threshold as Azriel’s eyes traveled over to who was in the dining room as Gwyn looked back at him, a nod of greeting in his direction before going back to her conversation with Mor and Emerie. Cassian had never asked what made Gwyn so mad at Azriel that they had stopped talking last year. Same with him and Elain. Things had also been strained between that relationship, but they still exchanged pleasantries. Just like him and Gwyn did. 

“Uncle Cass!” A voice stated as Cassian smiled outstretching his arms for Nyx and taking him from Rhys. 

“There you are. How is my favorite nephew doing?” 

“I’m your only nephew.” He proclaimed his black hair catching the light. 

“That you are.” 

Nyx looked around the room. 

“Where’s Aunt Nesta?” He asked. 

“I’m right here.” Nesta smiled making her way into the room as a smile burst from Nyx’s lips. 

“Aunt Ness!” He yelled as Cassian handed him over to Nesta. 

“Did you have a good day? I hope you aren’t giving mom and dad too much trouble.” Nesta asked him taking him in the dining room. 

Nyx’s eyes widened in shock. “Me. Never.” 

Nesta chuckled softly as Rhys’s eyes traveled with him. God knew how Cassian would be like when his and Nesta’s child arrived. Gods help him. 

“Shall we join them?” Cassian asked his brothers who smiled at him as they made their way to the dining room as Cassian spotted Nesta with Nyx and Feyre, Nyx still in her lap as Nesta smiled at him. He could imagine it. Could imagine Nesta being that way with their child, he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips at the mere glimpse of their future as Rhysand looked over to him smiling. 

“Something on your mind brother?” 

Nesta’s eyes locked with his own. And when she smiled at him it was like there was no one else in the world. 

“Everything.” He answered making his way over to Nesta preparing to share the life changing news with their family. 

An hour into dinner, conversation was in full swing, laughter and joy filled the air as Nesta’s hand squeezed his telling him that it was time to tell their family why they were there. 

“We have something to tell all of you.” Cassian announced interrupting the ongoing conversation, holding everyone’s curious gazes. He had to admit that Elain, Feyre, and Mor were at least good at faking it. He looked over to Nesta who looked around and placed a hand over her belly. 

“Nesta and I are having a baby. We’re pregnant” Cassian smiled as Nesta glowed and the room erupted in joyous laughter and congratulations, his brothers came over to hug him and Nesta along with her sisters and her sisters in arms. Who were now excitedly talking with Nesta about it. How she found out. When she found out. Mulling over plans as they answered all the questions they possibly could until the night was drawing to a close. 

The room had now been reduced to Him, Nesta, Nyx, Rhysand, and Feyre. Everyone else had went their separate ways as Feyre, Nyx, and Nesta talked on the couch. Feyre and Nesta talking about pregnancy as Nesta’s hand stayed firmly on her stomach stroking it as Feyre said she used to do that a lot too when she was pregnant with Nyx. 

Cassian leaned on the doorframe, mesmerized by the sight as Rhysand came up beside him. 

“How does it feel?” he asked as Cassian tore his eyes away from his mate and to his brother. 

“How does it feel?” 

“How does what feel?” he asked tearing his eyes away from Nesta for a moment. 

“To feel like a father. To feel the joy, it brings to your mate, knowing that you would tear anyone apart who tries to harm them. Even if you know they won’t.”

“Are you trying to make this about you?” Cassian felt himself saying. Knowing that Rhys didn’t have the best reactions when Feyre was pregnant with Nyx. 

“I didn’t mean offense to it truly. I was out of line at times and me and Nesta have talked about it multiple times since then. I want to make it clear to you that I in no way will bring any harm to Nesta or your child, I swear it. I literally owe her my life. Without her neither Feyre, Nyx, or I would be here. I won’t ever forget that.”

“I think we all can look forward to the future. The past is the past, it’ll hurt us more if we don’t leave it there. We have already made amends with each other and righted wrongs. It’s time to live in the present Right now Nesta and the baby are all I can think about. All I want to think about. And looking at them now, I’m terrified that I’ll find some way to screw it up. That I’ll fail them just like I’ve failed others.” He stated looking at Rhysand. 

“What you’re feeling right now, is what it’s like to feel like a father. It’s how I and the others know you and Nesta are ready for this. No parent is perfect, you’ll make mistakes, God knows I made quite a few, but when your child is born. When you look upon your mate’s face and see all the love she has for that child. How it’s her world, all your fears and doubts will be worth it in that moment and it’ll just be you three. You’ll find your way brother. You both will. You just have to believe in the best.” 

Cassian pulled Rhysand in and gave him a hug. “Thank you.” 

“it was the least I could do for all you’ve done for me. Enjoy this time with your mate Cassian. This will be the only time you get to experience this first. Now shall we go join our mates?” He smiled. 

“I thought you’d never ask.” Cassian smiled walking into the living room where his and Rhys’s futures waited for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be some baby sitting fun. As Nyx spends some time with his favorite aunt and uncle in the House of Wind.


	4. Quartet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Girl's have a spa day while the bat boys are left alone to babysit Nyx.

“Was there a reason you willingly volunteered to help me pull weeds today?” Elain asked as Nesta pulled the weed from the root. 

“I needed a healthy way to let out my frustration before I snapped at someone. The library isn’t helping because they worry about me falling off a ladder. And I’ve been forbidden from training until I get the go ahead from Madaja. So, pulling weeds it is.”

Nodding her understanding, Elain gathered some seeds into her palm and planted them into the earth. 

“I take it that Cassian is still hovering?” she asked looking over to where Cassian, Rhysand, Nyx, and Feyre talked inside. His eyes still on Nesta. 

“He’s just- “

“Driving you crazy?” Elain supplied as Nesta pulled out another weed. 

“It’s our first child. He’s still new to this just like I am, and I think him not being there when I found out about the baby had a deeper affect on him than what he’s telling me. Mix that with the normal things male mates go through and I understand. It’s just that I’m raging with these hormones and growing a life inside of me and I have not been able to do anything and it makes me feel…useless.”

“You’re not useless, you’re pregnant. And what you’re feeling won’t last forever. Have you tried making plans to hang out with people outside of Cassian?”

“Not yet, but never fear, I have a plan.” A voice said from the stone walkway as Nesta and Elain turned their heads towards Mor, the gold light of the sun reflecting from her hair. 

“And what would that be?” Nesta asked brushing the dirt from her palms. 

“We’re having a spa day.” Mor proclaimed giving them a wide tooth grin. “And before you ask, I already took the liberty of inviting Gwyn and Emerie.” 

“What’s the occasion?” Nesta asked looking at her dress that was now covered in dirt. 

“It was Feyre’s idea actually. She needed some time away from Nyx and Rhysand. It would also give you an excuse to get out of the house and away from Cassian for a while.” 

“He’s not that bad. He’s just worried about us.” Nesta explained. Even though some time away would probably be a good thing. 

“Oh, she knows, but she also knows how overbearing a fae male can be during pregnancy. Plus, it’ll give him good practice for fatherhood if we leave him, Azriel, and Rhys alone with Nyx. They need some brotherly bonding time as well.”

“Is that why Feyre sent the servants home early?” Elain smiled. 

“They needed the challenge.” Feyre interrupted making her way towards them and smiled. “Plus, I’ve been up for the past two nights with Nyx while Rhys has got to sleep in, so I may be getting a little payback for myself. And Nyx might be a little on the hyper side today.”

Nesta bit her lip to stop the laugh from escaping her lips as Feyre looked around the garden. 

“It’s looking pretty good out here.” She stated beaming at Elain. 

“Thanks. At this rate it should be in full bloom by the time our niece or nephew arrives in the spring.”

“You found out when the baby is due?” Mor asked as Nesta smiled wide. 

“Madaja is predicting either March or April depending on how smoothly this pregnancy goes.” Nesta announced running her hand over her stomach wondering when she was going to start showing. 

Madaja had said it should be any day now. 

“I can’t wait to see what you’re having.” Feyre gushed. 

“My guess is a boy.” Mor stated. 

“I’m going to have to disagree with you on that. Knowing Nesta and Cassian, it’ll probably be a girl.” Elain challenged. 

“You’d go against the opinion of a person whose power is the truth?” Mor smiled, a challenge in her eyes as Elain matched it with one of her own. 

“You’d really go against the opinion of a seer.” 

“Touché.” Mor admitted giving a shrug. 

“I’m sure Nesta and Cassian won’t mind either way as long as the baby is happy and healthy.” Feyre interjected, Nesta giving her a grateful smile.

“I couldn’t agree more.” Cassian added coming up to Nesta and helping her up, throwing an arm around her shoulder, “Are you ready to go?” 

“She’s coming with us today.” Mor interrupted as Feyre shot her a look. 

“Feyre told me as much, but I think my mate would appreciate a nice bath and changing into clothes that aren’t covered in dust before she leaves. That and if we’re babysitting Nyx, I’m going to need a few things from the house first.”

Feyre nodded waving a goodbye to Nesta and Cassian as Cassian gathered her in his arms and flew them back to the house of wind setting her down gently giving her a soft kiss on the lips. She leaned into it happily. 

“Are you going to be okay today?” He asked when she pulled away taking her hand as they walked into the house. The cool air hitting her in the face when they stepped in. 

“I’ll be alright. Will you be okay with Az, Rhys, and Nyx today?” She inquired as he touched her stomach smiling. 

“I’m sure we’ll manage. Besides, I need all the practice I can get. And it has been a while since we all hung out together. Just us guys.” 

Nesta smiled placing her hand over his and giving it a gentle squeeze before kissing his palm. 

“Do you know what you guys will be up to?” she asked as Cassian shrugged. 

“No clue. We just go with the flow to be honest, but I’m sure we’ll find something to do.” 

“Well good luck with today. I should probably get ready before Feyre comes to pick me up.”

“Thank you, I have a feeling we’ll need it.” Cassian smiled giving her a peck on the lips as he stepped back. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” She smiled as Cassian grabbed what he needed and left the house leaving her alone with her thoughts. 

“Ready to go?” Feyre asked stepping into the house, the house blowing her hair gently in greeting. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Nesta said grabbing onto the arm Feyre had offered as they winnowed to the spa where Gwyn, Emerie, Mor, and Elain waited talking about the progress being made to Emerie’s shop. It had been a while since Nesta had visited Windhaven to see Emerie, but she was happy to hear that her friend’s business was now booming. 

“Hey!” Gwyn smiled throwing her arms around Nesta as Emerie followed suit. 

“Hey, I just heard about your shop. Congratulations.” Nesta said as Emerie smiled, Mor throwing an arm around her shoulder making Emerie blush. Even after six months of dating, Emerie still got butterflies around her. 

“Well, it’s still a work in progress, but hopefully renovations will be done by the fall and everyone will appreciate the restaurant we’re adding in.” Emerie mentioned her eyes shining at the possibility of getting to put her love for cooking to good use. 

“They’d be idiots if they didn’t.” Mor supplied giving Emerie her best smile. 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, so what’s the plan?” Emerie asked. 

“I already booked a manicure and pedicure for you, me, and Nesta.” Gwyn interjected. Taking Nesta’s hand as she waved a brief goodbye to her sisters and followed Emerie and Gwyn into the room where there manicures first.

“So, how is the newest research project going?” Nesta asked Gwyn as a look of frustration crossed her face. 

“I feel like your brother-in-law has an interesting theory about universes existing besides this one, but I see no evidence to the contrary yet, so it’s hitting a lot of dead ends.”

“What about training the newest recruits? How is that going?” Nesta asked Emerie as the woman doing her nails worked on her cubicles. 

Emerie and Mor had convinced a few of the Illyrian women from the village to train with the Valkyrie, but Nesta hadn’t heard about it in three weeks and she missed everyone. She missed her training and the woman she helped train. She hoped Madaja would clear her soon. She had to sit out on quite a few of the exercises when she finally returned to it, but she didn’t mind if she got to do something. Anything to help them out. She hated sitting on the sidelines, but she knew that her son or daughter was worth it. They always would be, and she would never make them feel like they weren’t worth every sacrifice she had to make for them. 

“We managed to enlist five new trainees this week. Two from Illyrian, one from the library, one from velaris, and another from the court of nightmares.” 

“I’m surprised, the court of nightmares tend to avoid us like a plague.” 

“Apparently this was someone Mor knew from her childhood, she reached out and Mor wouldn’t tell me anymore than that. She’s a little closed off and reluctant at times, but she doesn’t seem like a bad person.”

“And the others?”

“One is the new priestess we got a couple months back.” Gwyn told her as Nesta recalled the woman who had been brought to them. Still remembered the look on her face and the rage she had felt, wanting to tear the woman’s attacker limb from limb. Only stopping because Rhys had laws in place specifically to punish those attackers. 

“How is Talia doing with everything?” Nesta asked. 

“She’s doing pretty well actually. Needs a little help with her footwork, but I feel like she’ll get the hang of it in no time. “ 

“And the Illyrian females?” Nesta asked turning to Emerie. 

“Jora and Aspen show up when they can. Sometimes they’ll come twice a week, sometimes not at all. You know how it is. They can. Jora is busy with her two boys and Aspen, well, you know how Devlon is.” 

Nesta grunted, things had never been pleasant between her and Devlon and that hadn’t changed in the past two years, but his wife was nice enough and had never had an issue with Nesta despite Devlon still thinking her to be a witch. 

“At least some progress is being made. Are you going to make a trip up to Illyria anytime soon?” Emerie asked. 

“I usually go when Cassian does, so maybe within a week or two. Unless he takes care of it by himself. My travel restrictions are limited until my second trimester, but I do want to see the progress made to your shop. And catch up with the other females of course.” 

Suddenly Emerie sat up, an idea coming to her. “You said you needed something to pass the time?” 

“Yeah. I would love that. You have no idea how stir crazy I’m going.” 

“Come work with me in the shop for two days out of the week. It’s not much, but it’s better than nothing and maybe we can make a few changes here and there to drum up business for the new restaurant.”

“Such as?” Nesta asked excitement filling her at the prospect of having another thing to focus on. 

“A book club.” Gwyn interjected excitement filling her features. 

“A book club might be a good idea and we can alternate between Windhaven and Velaris as well. That way Madaja doesn’t scold me for all the travel. I’ll talk with her about it, but I would really love that.” Nesta smiled. Excitement filling her. 

After the manicure and pedicure was done, Nesta, met up with Elain and Feyre for their massages as Nesta told Feyre and Elain about the newest development. 

“I can winnow you into Windhaven if Madaja gives you the go ahead and of course Mor would too. Any excuse to see her girlfriend after all. When is your next appointment with Madaja? You could ask her then.” 

“In two and a half weeks.” Nesta said. 

“I could send her over earlier if you wanted. Or at least talk to her about it.” 

“I can manage two and a half more weeks. But thank you for the offer.” Nesta supplied as Feyre offered her a smile. 

“Anytime. Just let me know if you change your mind.” 

“I wonder how the boys are doing with Nyx.” Elain inquired as a smile crossed Feyre’s lips. God only knows what the boys are up to. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to Feyre?” Cassian asked cleaning the puke from his shirt as Rhysand shot him a look cradling Nyx in his arms. The boy still looking about ready to puke. 

“I’m sure, he’ll be fine. We just have to wait for his stomach to settle is all.” Rhysand stated as a chuckle escaped from Azriel. 

“I told you taking him flying was a bad idea.” Azriel teased as Rhysand glared at him, Nyx leaning his head against his shoulder. 

“It usually helps him sleep. How was I supposed to know he was going to puke all over Cassian?”

“I mean taking him flying after he just ate was just a bad decisions overall, but you two insisted and now here we are.” Azriel smirked causing Cassian to sigh. This was going to stain and wished he had been smart enough to bring a change of clothes. 

“I’m going to put him down for a nap. Hopefully, that’ll help settle his stomach.” Rhysand started as Cassian slung his shirt over the chair to dry. 

“Can I do it?” he asked. 

“Only if you’re sure. And if he gets worse you tell me immediately.” 

“Of course.” Cassian promised as he walked up to Rhys handing him over Nyx gently. “Come on Nyx, Let’s get you to bed.” 

Carrying him to his room, Cassian opened the door to the room who was painted like the night sky. Constellations, moons, and stars painted on his walls as the silvers, blues, blacks, and purples filled the room. Making Cassian feel like he was flying through the night sky. 

Cassian gently set Nyx down in his bed, tucking him in like he did so many other times before. 

“Uncle Cass.” Nyx started. 

“Hey buddy, what’s up?” 

“Can you tell me a story until I fall asleep? One of you and dad and uncle Az.” He asked, a small smile lighting his face. 

“Of course.” Cassian smiled picking one from his fond memories. 

“I’ll tell you one about one of our first solstice’s together.” Cassian decided as he prepared to tell Nyx the story. 

“Why does the kitchen smell like puke?” Feyre asked as her, Nesta, and Elain stepped into the kitchen, Nesta’s nausea fighting the smell. 

“Nyx had a little incident, but it’s nothing to worry about. He’s fine now.” Rhysand said as Feyre glared at him. 

“We’ll talk later.” 

“Where’s Cassian?” Nesta asked not wanting to be around the smell anymore. 

“He’s in the bedroom with Nyx.” Rhys supplied. 

Nesta nodded her thanks making her way to Nyx’s bedroom as she opened the door and her heart stopped at the sight. 

Cassian had fallen asleep on the bed, Nyx cradled to his chest as they both slept peacefully making Nesta’s heart ache, for in this moment she could see her future with Cassian and their child. See him doing this for their own children. Couldn’t wait to see Cassian with their son or daughter. Reading them to sleep and telling them stories. Holding them when they were sick. And loving them like he had been denied of when he was their age. She could see it. See it all as her hand went to her stomach and tears sprang from her eyes. 

As if sensing her, Cassian’s eyes slowly opened staring at her as a sleepy smile crossed his face. It had always been one of her favorite ones. 

“Hey.” He whispered. 

“Hey.” 

“I must have fallen asleep telling Nyx stories.”

“It happens.” She smiled moving towards the chair beside Nyx’s bed. 

“I got puked on today.” Cassian stated as Nesta smiled at him softly. 

“I saw.” 

“How was your day?” Cassian asked holding out his had as she took it. 

“It was exactly what I needed.” She admitted as his smile grew. Nyx looking calm and serene in his arms. 

“I’m glad. I’d do anything to keep that smile on your face.” Cassian admitted as Nyx stirred in his arms. 

“Aunt Nes,” 

“Hey buddy, what’s up?” 

“Can you stay with us?” He asked as Nesta smiled. 

“Of course.” 

They made room in the bed and Nesta cradled Nyx and Cassian feeling at peace. Their eyes locked as Cassian laid his hand to her stomach thinking about their future as the three fell asleep feeling at peace underneath the night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!!! The next one will definitely be an emotional one. I won't say much about it right now, but I'm excited to write it.


	5. Rhapsody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta and Cassian take a trip to Windhaven and Cassian opens up to Nesta about how he feels after a confrontation with Devlon.

Dawn broke over the horizon as gentle kisses trailed up Nesta’s throat, a small moan escaping from her lips as Cassian’s tongue trailed over that specific spot, her eyes slowly opening to him. A smile on her face. 

“Well good morning to you too.” She sighed contently their lips meeting on a feverish kiss. 

She knew that the day would be busy, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy their morning while they still had time. 

“I have something for you.” Cassian stated in between kisses. 

“I know.” Nesta teased feeling his length press against her. It had been a while since they had engaged in certain activities. 

“How could you- “he started before looking down. “Oh, th-that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh.” She stated, disappointment washing over her. He sensed the change within her instantly. 

“I want you like crazy Nesta. You have no idea how much. I’m just worried- “

“About the baby?” She asked. 

“There’s still risk this early on, but perhaps we could ask Madaja if-if it’s okay to be intimate. I won’t risk bringing harm to you and the baby just for my own pleasure. I can risk a lot, but I can’t risk the family we created. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did.” 

She nodded giving him a tender kiss. 

“So, what did you have for me?” she asked breaking the kiss as Cassian chuckled grabbing the tray he had put by the bedside table and setting it down as she salivated at the sight of it. 

“You made me breakfast.” She smiled. “And did you intentionally put a smiley face on the pancakes?” she teased as he kissed the tip of her nose. 

“I thought it would bring a smile to your face seeing as how we have a big day ahead of us with your twelve-week check in.”

“And you’re excited for the ultrasound.” Nesta guessed. 

“It’s always my favorite part.” 

She took his hand and squeezed. 

“Mine too.” 

He leaned in, grabbing a piece of pancake with the fork as she opened her mouth, and a small moan escaped her lips. 

“Good?” he asked. 

“Very.” She replied grabbing the fork back and taking another bite, thankful that the morning sickness had subsided at least for the moment. 

Cassian jerked in surprise as Nesta looked at him and was about to ask what was wring before he mouthed “Rhys.” And a grimace crossed his face. 

“What did Rhys want?” 

“He needs me to go to Windhaven this morning to take care of a few issues with the new recruits. It was the last thing I wanted to deal with today.” He replied as she grasped his hand. 

“The appointment isn’t until three. We have plenty of time to go to Windhaven and then come back. I can come with you. I wanted to see Emerie anyway. Catch up and maybe talk about the shop and the new Valkyrie trainees. “

“As long as your careful. The shop is still under renovations.” 

“I’ll try my best to be careful and Emerie will also be there, I can’t imagine she’ll take me through the space that is being renovated.” 

“In that case, we better finish breakfast and get ready.” 

Nesta smiled sliding a piece of pancake into her mouth excited to start the day. 

Getting the last notch of his belt taken care of Cassian sighed wanting nothing more than to stay home with his mate before they checked in on their child but knew that Rhys had made him general of the night court armies for a reason and he had to uphold his duties, no matter how much they were a pain in the ass. 

Striding into the bathroom Nesta occupied, Cassian stiffened smelling the salt from his mates tears stepping into the room, his guard now up. 

“Nesta, What’s wrong?”

Turning towards him, Cassian sucked in a breath at what he saw, the small bump that had formed there. Nesta’s hands resting on top of it. 

“Cassian.” She whispered as he made his way to her and wrapped her in his arms. Taking this moment to share this moment with his mate. No one in the world existing besides them. 

“Let me know if you need anything.” Cassian insisted leaning down and giving her a kiss warranting a few looks from the Illyrian warriors as Nesta shot them a glare before smiling up at Cassian. 

“I will.” She promised going into the Emerie’s shop as her friend sat at the counter with Mor, the former female stroking Emerie’s hand. The two having a moment that Nesta didn’t want to interrupt, but Mor turned her head towards Nesta when she had heard the bell and Emerie’s smile widened. 

“Look who finally left the house.” Emerie teased as Nesta moved closer towards them sitting down in one of the chairs. 

“Cassian had some business to attend to her, so I took the opportunity to come with him.” 

“Isn’t your appointment today?” Mor asked. 

“It’s not until three.”

“Are you excited?” 

“Of course. I’m always excited for the ultrasound part where we get to see the baby.”

“I’m sure it’ll be amazing.” Emerie smiled. “I got something for you.” 

“Isn’t it bad luck in fae tradition to get things for the baby?”

“It’s more for you.” Emerie smiled handing her a few selections of clothing. 

“What’s all this?” she asked, a smile on her face. 

“Maternity clothes, I figured you would need some soon seeing as how you’re growing a baby, I figured you would need some.” 

Nesta smiled trying to hold back her tears. “Thank you. I appreciate this and as soon as I can I’ll find a way to pay you back.”

“Don’t worry about it. Like I said it’s something that you need. Especially if you’re going to start showing soon.”

“Actually. I saw my baby bump today.” Nesta smiled, Mor and Emerie matched her with one of their own. 

“That’s great, Nesta.”

“You know when I first saw it, I think it finally hit me that I’m going to be a mom soon. Like it’s one thing to have people tell you that you’re pregnant and to hear their heartbeat on the ultrasound, but it’s another thing to see the changes it brings to my body. It’s amazing. I started crying and Cassian found me, and it was just, a perfect moment.”

“I’m happy for you two.” Mor smiled as Nesta looked around at the opening of the store where they were expanding for the restaurants.

“Thank you. How are the renovations coming along?”

“Progress is slow, but hopefully they’ll be done sooner rather than later.” 

“Have you started working on the menu yet?” Nesta asked as Emerie opened her mouth to answer, but stiffened as the bell to her store rang and they turned around to see Devlon and Aspen entering the shop, Devlon stiffening at the sight of Nesta. Folding her arms over herself and holding herself in a way that showed him she wouldn’t tolerate his bullshit. 

“Witch.” Devlon grunted, Aspen shooting him a look. 

“She has a name you know.” Aspen told him, her hazel eyes going to Nesta. Apologetic. 

“It’s fine Aspen, I’ve grown quite fond of the nickname.”

Aspen’s smile grew as Devlon sniffed the air loudly, his mouth framing in a twisted smirk. 

“So, it is true. The witch is pregnant with a little witchling.” 

Nesta was about to tell him that it was none of his gods damned business when Cassian came up behind Devlon, his voice gruff. A voice she called Cassian’s no bullshit voice.

“I’d be careful how you talk about my mate and child, Devlon.” Cassian growled out, fists clenching.

“Or you’ll do what exactly?”

Cassian glared at him a challenge in his eyes as Devlon let out a low laugh. 

“That’s what I thought. Are you sure you still have your balls, General? Are you sure that child is even yours or did a real man sneak into your bed and do the job right?” 

Nesta stiffened feeling Mor and Emerie do the same, a look of disgust crossing Mor’s face as Nesta was sure she wore one that was similar. Had she not been with child, she would have ripped Devlon to shreds for the implication. 

A snarl ripped from Cassian’s throat, a fist flying to Devlon’s face and it connected. The force hard enough to knock Devlon into a nearby stand. His body crashing through it. 

“Nice form.” Devlon grinned smirking up at Cassian. “Too bad it still doesn’t mean much.” 

Bad. This was going to get bad if she didn’t do anything about it. 

“Cassian. He’s not worth it.” She stated, Cassian’s eyes softening as Devlon laughed. 

“Still a useless bastard born I see. Letting your bitch over there control what you do. Instead of putting her in her place like you should. You can fool everyone and gain as many siphons as you want, but neither you nor your devil’s spawn will ever equivalate to anything here.”

Her power licked in her veins chocking to be let out as something snapped in Cassian. It was one thing to insult him, he had been dealing with that kind of hate his entire life, but Devlon had crossed a line by bringing their child into this. A child who had not harmed anyone. Nesta’s breath caught as Cassian lunged at Devlon, fist pounding into his face as Nesta went towards them, Aspen grabbing her.

“Let me go.” Nesta snarled, her instincts kicking in. 

“This isn’t good for the baby Nesta. Think about them. The stress isn’t good for them.” 

“Then get your Gods damned husband away from mine.” Nesta growled as a flash of blond hair crossed Nesta’s vision, Mor grabbing Cassian and pulling him away from Devlon, his face bloodied.

“Get him to the healer Aspen, before I let Cassian finish what he started.” Mor snapped, Aspen letting go of Nesta and got Devlon out of there before Mor turned to Cassian, her lip curling. 

“What the hell is a matter with you? This is my girlfriend’s shop, not a sparing ring.”

A snarl ripped from his own throat. “Did you ignore what he said about my wife, my child.” 

“I did, but did you consider what it would do to your mate and child to fight Devlon? Look at them Cassian.” 

Cassian’s eyes looked at Nesta as whatever overtook him before snapped out of him. 

“Nesta, I- “He started before looking down at his hands. The blood on them. Thoughts racing through his mind at the sight. 

She understood, knew why he snapped and wanted to rip Devlon to shreds, she took a tentative step forward as Emerie grasped her hand. 

“Come with me. Now. You shouldn’t be near her when you’re like this.” Mor instructed, grasping his arm as she winnowed him to Gods knew where. Leaving Nesta and Emerie alone, a hand resting on Nesta’s abdomen. 

“What the hell happened?” Rhys asked surveying Cassian and Mor taking in the state of his brother. 

“Ask him,” Mor snapped waving a hand to Cassian. “I need a drink.” 

With that Mor stepped out of the room shutting the door tightly as Rhys turned back to Cassian. 

“What happened?” he asked in a softer tone. 

“I fucked up, just like I always do.” 

“Show me.” Rhysand instructed as Cassian opened his mind to him showing him everything. Shame filling him. The blood still on his hands. 

“Witchling. How original.” Rhys smirked rolling his eyes. “Are you okay?” 

“What do you think?” 

“You overreacted. It happens. Especially when your mate is pregnant. God knows I won’t judge you for that.”

“I put her at risk. I put them at risk. How could I do that?” 

“You wouldn’t have hurt them Cassian.” 

“What if I could have?”

“You didn’t. And you won’t. They’re both safe Cassian and Devlon is an ass for goading you in front of your pregnant mate, he insulted your mate and child and wouldn’t stop just to assert his dominance over you. I’ll have to have a nice long talk with him in the morning.” 

“I shouldn’t have let it affect me as much. “ 

“You can’t change what’s already happened, the best you can do is move forward, but talk to Nesta about it. Things won’t get better and this feeling won’t go away until you do.”

“How am I ever going to explain this to her?” 

“By talking through it.” A familiar voice said as Nesta stepped from Feyre’s grip. She must have retrieved Nesta from Windhaven. “May we have a moment alone?” Nesta asked looking at Rhys and Feyre as Feyre extended her hand for Rhys, leading him out of the room and leaving them alone. 

“Nesta, I- “ 

“There’s still blood on your hands.,” Nesta observed making her way to the joint bathroom and grabbing a wet washcloth. “May I?” 

Cassian nodded as Nesta grabbed one of his hands and washed the blood from it grimacing. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked. 

“I’m sorry I lost control today. That wasn’t my intention. I just kept hearing Devlon’s words to me to you. And when he brought the baby into it, I just lost it. I shouldn’t have and I’m so, so sorry.”

“Devlon is an arrogant asshole. I don’t blame you for getting upset, I-I wanted to hurt him as well.” She admitted, biting on her lip, trying to concentrate her focus on his still bleeding knuckles. “But I feel like it wasn’t just him talking about me and our child that upset you.” 

“Nesta-“ He started but she interrupted.

“Please Cassian whatever it is, don’t hesitate to tell me. We’re married now. We’re mates. Whatever is wrong you can confide in me. I can take it.” 

“Sometimes I still wonder what I did to deserve this. Sometimes when Devlon tells me what a useless bastard I am, it’s harder for me to block him out, because he was the closest thing to a mentor that I had. I know that I surpass him in many ways, However, I- I have no idea what I did to make him hate me so much. Maybe it’s me trying to change the dynamic there or maybe it has nothing to really do with me and he’s just letting out steam, but I never thought his insults would go to my child. I always thought that was a thing that was off limits to him. Gods this is all so fucked up. How am I supposed to keep a positive attitude about the changes we’re slowly starting to make when I feel like every step, I take I get pulled back another ten?”

“Change is never easy and if anyone is patient enough to make it happen, it’s you. Just give it time. Nothing changes over night and there’s already been so much progress. And you are anything besides useless.” She stated lifting his chin to meet her eyes. 

“Tell that to them.” He suggested as Nesta squeezed his hand, now clear of blood, and pressed it to her stomach. To the small bump that had now formed. 

“You are more than who they make you out to be. You are strong and brave and loyal and kind. You’re the general to the night court armies and one of the best warriors I’ve ever known. You’re a great friend and a loving husband. You are the only person who has ever got me. You are my mate. My best friend. And the father of this child. It doesn’t matter what an arrogant asshole like Devlon thinks, because I am yours, and you are mine, and this baby is ours. We are each other’s homes and salvations. And as your mate, I know without a shadow of a doubt that you will do right by them. That you will be the father that this child needs. Because you’ve already proven to me time and time again why you are the best man I’ve ever known. I just wish you thought of yourself that way too. Because I would also do anything to keep that smile on your face. To pull you out of the dark when you need a light in the darkness. All you have to do is ask, all you have to do is say the words and I’ll be there.” Nesta as tears formed in his eyes. Nesta wiped them away as he pulled her in and held her close. 

“What if I fail them? What if I fail you? I already missed one of the most important moments. What if I miss another?” he asked finally voicing his worry as she inhaled his scent. 

“Whatever happens, we’ll face it together. Without failure, we would never know what it was like toi succeed. And as for the important moments, there will be ones you miss, no one can be around for every important moment in someone’s life however, we can hold onto the other important ones. We can hold onto the sound of our baby’s heart, watching our child grow and develop, feeling the baby move and kick, recognizing our voices, you’ll tell them stories and so will I, and finally whenever their ready to come into this world, we’ll be overcome with joy when our baby takes their first breath, and we hear their first cries. And that first moment we hold them in our arms, everything that we missed won’t matter as much, because we’ll have so much more to look forward to. “ 

Smiling Cassian leaned in a pressed a kiss to Nesta’s lips. The kiss holding so meaning as a heavy weight lifted from his chest. 

“Thank you.” He whispered touching his brow to hers. 

“Forever-“She smiled. 

“Forever.” He promised kissing her as a knock sounded on the door and they turned as Feyre entered the study. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but Madja is here.” Feyre announced. As Nesta nodded. 

“Thanks, Feyre, can you tell her we’ll be right there.” 

“Of course.” She smiled shutting the door once more as Nesta pressed another kiss to Cassian’s waiting lips. 

“Are you ready to see our child Mate?” Nesta smiled as Cassian lifted her up setting her down gently and taking her hand. 

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, Nesta, Cassian, Feyre, and Rhys go on a double date and Feyre and Nesta have a discussion about motherhood and Nesta's own doubts about whether or not she'll be a good mother.


	6. Harmony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta remembers her mating ceremony with Cassian.

“That’s a beautiful sight.” Cassian purred as Nesta pulled the shirt down and smoothed her hand over the bump forming there.

It had been a month since they had had their last appointment and her sixteen week check in would happen today. Feyre would accompany her since Cassian had to deal with another disturbance at the camps. Had hated that one minute at the camp at taken away even a second of joy watching his babe grow. Feyre had said she came up with a solution for that in case he couldn’t be there. Nesta just prayed to God it worked. “I wish I could enjoy it more.”

Smiling, Nesta strode over to Cassian kissing him thorough and unhurrying.

“I do as well, but perhaps when you come back tonight…” Nesta stated letting the words hang between them in the air. 

“I’m looking forward to it…mate.” Cassian answered giving her one last kiss before she walked with him hand in hand and gave her one last kiss before taking to the skies.

Nesta watched him until a familiar presence stood beside her, her sister’s scent catching in her nose. 

“Have you eaten yet?” she asked as Nesta turned to her. Nyx was no where in sight. Perhaps he was with Rhysand.

“No.” Nesta admitted 

“Luckily, I made some reservations at the café by the Sidra and maybe after that we could go to the rainbow. I need some new clothes for Nyx, and I figured we could get you some new maternity clothes.”

“What’s wrong with the ones I’m wearing?” Nesta asked pulling the shirt Emerie had got her down. 

“Nothing. I just thought you may like some options. I know a seamstress that specializes in maternity dresses, and pants if you’re interested.” Feyre replied with a smile. 

“I’d like that. I’ll be sure to pay you back when I get the chance.” 

She had started working in Emerie’s shop three times a week. It had taken a while to assure Cassian that her and the baby would be alright, but in the end, he said the choice was up to her. He only asked that if something happened, she would have someone get him. She agreed. 

Feyre waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. A couple of outfits aren’t going to matter much in the grand scheme of things.” She stated. 

Nesta nodded not willing to argue with Feyre. She would have to find a way to make it up to her later. 

“Shall we?” Feyre asked as Nesta looped her arm around Feyre’s and she transported them to the café overlooking the Sidra. The Sidra that held so many memories for her, taking her back to her most important one. 

“Not having second thoughts, are you?” Elain asked placing the last of the flowers in Nesta’s braid as Nesta stared out the window surveying the preparations for the mating bond ceremony down below.

“Not at all.” Nesta smiled turning away from the window as a soft cry filled the room.

“Sorry. He’s been fussy lately.” Feyre explained, exhaustion filling her eyes accentuating the dark circles underneath them as Nesta strode over to them holding out her arms. 

“May I?” Nesta asked. She hadn’t put on her dress yet and they still had a few more hours to spare. 

“Only if you’re sure.” Feyre answered handing Nyx over to Nesta. Her nephew fitting comfortably in her arms. Still fussing but staring at her with those big blue eyes staring at her with wonder. 

“Hello, little one.” She cooed running a hand over his black hair trying to soothe him. Feyre taking a seat in the nearest chair, exhaustion finally taking over. 

The baby reached up touching Nesta’s cheek as she rocked him back and forth, her sisters looking at both.

“What?” She asked Nyx squirming in her arms probably wondering why she stopped. She continued to rock him. 

“Nothing.” Feyre smiled as Nesta patted Nyx’s back, a small burp falling from his mouth. Some spit up getting on Nesta’s shirt.

Nesta shrugged grabbing the tissue Elain offered and cleaning it off. 

“I think we found out the reason why he was fussy.” Nesta laughed, her nephew smiling handing him back to Feyre.

“Are you ready to get dressed?” Elain asked excited as she went to where the dress hung. 

“Yes.” Nesta answered excitement filling her as she slipped off her clothes before Feyre and Elain helped her in the dress.

She went to the full-length mirror and inspected herself, her breath catching slightly. 

The mating dress she had chosen was a long sleeve high neck dress with full skirts and a lace bodice. She had opted for flowers in her hair and no crown like Cassian had joked about. There was no need for one. Tonight, she would officially be mated to the love of her life and she for one couldn’t wait to see what their future would hold. 

A knock sounded from the door and Emerie emerged smiling. 

“You look beautiful.” She said, Gwyn coming in behind her. 

“You came.” She smiled pulling both into a hug. 

“We wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Gwyn answered the light catching her red hair. 

“You’re almost ready.” 

“Almost?” Nesta asked as they all pulled something out, Nesta lifting a brow. “What is this?” 

“You’ll have to give it back after the ceremony, but I thought you might want to burrow it for the day.” Gwyn said taking her friendship bracelet and clasping it beside Nesta’s on her wrist. 

“I have these blue garters in the shop.” Emerie smiled as Nesta slipped it on. 

“When I went to the rainbow the other day and I saw this thought of you.” Feyre smiled. The silver comb in her hand as she placed it in Nesta’s hair and then she turned to Elain. 

“I know we don’t have much, but I figured you would want this today.” Elain smiled as Elain gave her a dagger, the handle made of wood. 

“It has flames on it.” She smiled as she turned to Feyre. 

“We may have refurnished that old dresser.” Feyre smiled. “Elain and I have similar ones.” 

Nesta smiled at her sisters. Tears coming to her eyes. “You did all this for me?”

“We may be fae, but it doesn’t mean we have to let go of everything.” Feyre smiled as Gwyn, Emerie, Feyre, and Elain pulled her into a hug, and she stood there letting the love of her sister’s flow through her. 

Gwyn squeezed her hand as her and Emerie went to go stand with their small group of friends and family as her, Feyre and Elain remained. The fae didn’t have the same traditions as mortal weddings. Bridesmaids were not a thing in the fae world, so Nesta would stand up there alone with Cassian and the priestess who would officiate their mating ceremony. 

“I’ll be up front.” Elain stated squeezing Nesta’s hand before heading out the door out with Nyx to the sitting area. 

“Are you ready for this?” Feyre asked taking Nesta’s hand in her own.

“Will you walk me down to him?” Nesta asked as Feyre smiled. 

“Of course, I will.” Feyre answered as the doors sliding her arm into Nesta’s as she opened the doors and Nesta took everything in. 

Music played from the Symphonia signaling her arrival. Candles lite the isle, garland hung from the ceiling, the windows looking out to the Sidra as lace and silk lined the chairs to the alter and all went quiet. She sensed Gwyn, Elain, Emerie, Feyre, Rhysand, Azriel, Mor, and Nyx in the room, but all fell away as her eyes landed on Cassian. Her lover, her friend, and her mate. His eyes fixed on hers and it was as if they were the only two in the universe. 

Tears filled his eyes matching her own as Feyre walked her down to him as Feyre placed Nesta’s hand into Cassian’s and Cassian looked at Feyre a smile on his beautiful face. 

“I got her. Don’t worry.” Cassian promised squeezing Nesta’s hand and pulling her to him, her heart beating in time with his. There was nothing else. No one else besides them. His eyes saying all the words that his mouth could not. Keeping her fingers interlaced with his. 

“I love you.” He mouthed to her, calming her nerves. 

“I love you too.” She mouthed back, her smile brightening the room. 

The priestess started off with the opening prayer for their ceremony before they recited their vows to each other promising to love and protect each other for as long as they lived. After they were finished the priestess spoke a prayer to the mother to bless this union with love, peace, and fertility instructing them to open the bond to each other. 

Their hearts beat as one as Nesta and Cassian opened their bond to each other, the gold light of their souls flowing into each other illuminating the room with its essence. 

When the priestess was finished with her prayer, she looked to both Nesta and Cassian asking if they had brought their mating food. 

Elain smiled bringing up the lemon blueberry muffin handing it to Nesta as Azriel gave Cassian the chocolate cake making Nesta smile. Elain had helped Nesta, and Cassian make both. Careful not to interrupt them making it and giving them helpful instructions. 

“No turning back now.” Cassian smiled illuminating the room as her smirk matched his. 

“Thank the Gods.” She answered offering him the muffin as he offered her a bite of the cake. 

The bond sang, his golden thread floating into her as her golden thread flowed into him. Just like it had done during solstice night. Their souls twining as one. And she was not afraid. Of him. Of this. Her lover. Her friend. Her husband. Her mate. She had expected the binding of their wrist next, but Mor smiled coming up to Cassian and placing two wedding bands in his free hand. Her eyebrow lifted in question. 

“I heard it’s tradition for husband and wife to exchange rings. “

“Cassian.” She whispered at a loss for words. Tears blurring her vision. 

“You are mine, just like I am yours. And I know how important those words are to you as well. You are my mate, but I would also love to call you my wife. And I’d be honored if you called me your husband.” 

He set the rings in Nesta’s hand and clasped her other hand on top of it placing his own on them. And without having to say the words, Nesta knew what he wanted her to do letting her power flow through her as she made a wish to be by his side forever the glow from her hands illuminating their bands before she opened her hand, Cassian taking her ring and sliding it on her left hand. The ring feeling like it always belonged there as she took his ring and slid it on his hand. Their worlds colliding, their hearts entwining as one. He leaned forward and kissed her, it holding all the power of the universe. 

When the kiss ended, Cassian touched his forehead to hers as the priestess turned to Rhys and Feyre, they stepped up to the alter taking the black ribbon and intertwining their wrist together enchanting it to not fall away until their mating was consummated. Her love and need growing strong for the man before her. The priestess closed the ceremony declaring them mates. And no feeling in the world compared as they brought their mouth together, the room imploding with love, life, and laughter as they smiled at their friends, their family before heading off to finish their mating. Their life together begging at last. 

As soon as Nesta and Cassian landed, their home now in sight, Nesta looked deep into Cassian’s eyes, her fingers running through his soft black hair, his eyes closing at her touch. His love and desire for her matching her own as he brought their mouths together his lips not leaving hers as he carried her over the threshold, up the stairs, and gently setting her down on their bed. Their chests rising and falling with each other, their breaths in sync, their hearts beating as one. Nothing in the world had ever felt so right. His eyes scanning over her, his love for her written all over his face taking her breath away. 

“Beautiful.” He whispered looking down at her in wonder. Eyes roaming over every inch of her body drinking her in, wondering what part of her to touch first, to taste first, to claim first. Her body waiting in anticipation for his hands, his mouth, his beautiful cock buried so deep within her that she could no longer tell what parts of her body were her own. She wanted, needed, all of it. All of him. 

“Cassian.” She pleaded, his heated gaze snapping back to hers. His lips twisting in a wicked smile. 

“How do you want me, Wife?” He asked mouth kissing the sensitive flesh of her neck. 

“In every way.” She answered. “Mate.” 

Smiling down at her, He unbound her hair, it tumbling down to her waist in waves as he pulled her up gently. One hand undoing the buttons of her dress. 

“Then I shall make love to you every way I can.” He answered as their mouth connected, the music between their souls consigning. 

Cassian laid her down on the bed. Their clothes falling away as he intertwined their bound hands and slid into her. Their lovemaking like a symphony between them, their kisses matching his powerful thrust in her. 

“Say it.” He whispered when they were both on the edge of their climax.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” She sobbed as his forehead touched hers 

“And I love you. With every fiber of my being. With every bit of my soul. And I will love you until my last breath. You are my forever, just like I am yours.” 

“Forever.” She promised kissing him feeling the first spurts of his essence filling her as she clenched around him finding her own climax within his own. As she felt a burning tingling sensation on her chest, Cassian kissing her there as a similar tattoo inked itself on his skin. The eight-point star that had vanished before now back again. The symbol of their mating bond. Of their joining. His fingers traced over it and smiled. The world solely belonging to them and this moment as she said, 

“Make love to me again.” She smiled as he laid her down and made love to her until the sun met the horizon. the music between their souls more beautiful than any symphony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since writer's block has hit me hard this week, I decided to split this part up into two chapters since I wanted to do the mating bond ceremony in this one, but the next chapter will explore difficult topics and themes and it's going to be real tear jerker for sure!!! So I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.


	7. Seraphine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta gets shocking news about her and Cassian's baby and Nesta and Cassian make an unbreakable vow.

“Nesta? Are you listening?” Feyre asked concern etching her face tearing Nesta away from her memory as she tore her eyes away from the Sidra and back towards Feyre. An impatient waitress taping her foot, waiting for Nesta’s drink order. 

“I’ll just have a water for now. Thank you.” Nesta replied. Her eyes scanning over the menu as the waitress huffed and went back inside. 

“Are you okay?” Feyre inquired her finger tracing the small crack that had formed in the table. 

“Yeah, I guess I’m just nervous.” Nesta answered, her hands running across her bump. 

“For the appointment?” 

“That amongst other things.” She admitted as Feyre raised her brow in question. Nesta went on. 

“Cassian can’t be at this appointment today because of the disturbance at the camps and- Well today we were supposed to figure out if the baby has wings or not.” 

“I see. I think I have just the solution for that.” Feyre answered reaching into her pocket and producing something that Nesta had only seen before. 

“Is that- “ 

“I figured you could hold onto the Veritas orb to share the memory of it with Cassian as well as one other.” Feyre stated, a smile crossing over Nesta’s face as she figured out exactly what she meant. 

“Thank you.” Nesta replied moving towards Feyre and pulling her into a hug. 

“Don’t mention it, but why do I have a feeling that’s not all that’s bothering you?” 

“The baby. I haven’t felt them move yet. Madja said they were supposed to around this time.” 

“Some babies take longer than others, but we can check with Madja today to put your mind at ease.” 

Nodding, Nesta was about to continue when Feyre’s back stiffened, the waitress coming over and setting their drinks down on the table surveying Feyre as she held a hand up, telling the waitress to give her one second before turning towards her with a smile. 

“We need one more tea and another seat if you don’t mind.” Feyre asked putting in her food order along with the other persons as Nesta ordered her own food and turned to Feyre. 

“Who’s coming?” Nesta asked as Feyre stirred her tea. 

“Elain is on her lunch break and thought she would come join us before getting back to work.” 

Nodding, Nesta took a sip of her water, the taste refreshing on her tongue.

“How is Nyx doing?” Nesta asked. 

“Another tooth is coming in for him. He’s been fussy all week. Not even Madja’s advice is working.” 

“Hopefully, this one comes in faster than his first one did.” 

“Don’t remind me.” Feyre muttered taking another sip of tea. 

“Any progress on the flying or the magic?” She asked. 

“Flying, no. He won’t be doing any of that until he’s older. As for the magic, nothing yet. Madja said it could take time, but as you can imagine I’m fairly new to this.” 

“Did Rhysand say anything about it?” 

“He said it’s different for everyone. He didn’t get his until he was at least four or five. And he didn’t fully come into his power until later, so- I’m not going to worry about it until it comes up. Whatever powers he possesses makes no difference to me.” 

Nesta nodded feeling the same way about her and Cassian’s child as she placed a hand over her stomaching wondering if they would possess their father’s powers or hers. Or a power entirely their own. She had no clue. None.

“Are you afraid?”

“Of?” Nesta asked her eyebrows raised. 

“That your child will possess the same power as you, that your child will- “ 

“Have death powers?” Nesta finished rubbing her stomach. “I think of it all the time. Of course, the baby will have their father’s powers. Most Illyrians do, but as far as mine are concerned. I-I have no idea. I’m worried what kind of future that will entail. I know that kind of power isn’t easy. Even if you only possess a fraction of it. However, the case, I’ve continued my studies with Amren once a month. I may not be able to use the power while pregnant, but I want to learn about it as much as I can if not for me, then for my child so when the time is right, I can help them understand. So, I can help them.”

“Nesta- “ 

“I want them to have a better life.” She found herself saying struggling to find the words. The ones she hadn’t voiced. Finding the courage to say the words. “I want them to have a better life then we did. I want them-I want them to not have fear in their hearts. I want them to never feel scared or alone. Like they can’t come to me for what is troubling them. I don’t want to fail them like I-Like I failed you.” She admitted. 

Feyre grabbed her hand and squeezed it. 

“You were a child too, Nesta. You weren’t the only one who made mistakes. Learn from them, take accountability for them, but also remember that you’re allowed to make mistakes, you were older, yes, you could have done better, but you also weren’t the parent. Our parents failed us in ways too. They weren’t perfect. No one ever is. But just because we made mistakes doesn’t mean we stop trying to make things better. To make the world better for ourselves and those who will come after us. We might not always succeed, but without failure, we’d never learn. Thankfully, we have a while to figure it out.” Feyre smiled. 

“Thank you.” Nesta whispered holding back her tears. 

“I have no doubt that you will love this child Nesta. You’ve always loved more fiercely than myself and others could ever comprehend. All you need to do is have faith in yourself.” 

“That’s easier said than done.” She admitted. 

“You’ll learn. We all will.” Feyre smiled as a brush of lavender caught Nesta’s vision and she whipped her head towards Elain who sat down in the chair beside Feyre brushing the dirt from her gown.

“Busy day?” Nesta asked as the waitress popped up placing their food beside them. 

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Elain answered gulping down her tea. 

“How is Estelle’s garden coming along?” Feyre asked as Elain opened her mouth to answer her eyes filled with light and excitement before her body jerked, her eyes glossing over.

“Elain?” Nesta asked. She had no idea when she would get used to her sister’s visions of the future. 

“The night phlox’s are in full bloom-“ Elain started looking towards Nesta. Brown eyes resting upon her. Seeing yet unseeing. 

“Are they? How wonderous are they this time a year?”

“They’re beautiful, they-“Another jerk. 

“Elain?” Feyre asked as Elain lifted a hand. 

“She is born within the fields of the night phlox’s, the cries from her mother are heard throughout them carrying out to the battlefield beyond. She is born in a place of beauty, a place of peace amongst the bloodshed that surrounds her. She is the light in the darkness. Her parent’s salvation in a time of despair. How beautiful she is. How the worlds sing her name. Can you hear her calling to you Nesta? Can you hear the call of your daughter’s voice? Her summons as beautiful as any melody.” 

Nesta’s hands flew to her stomach as Elain’s words flowed over her. Hitting her one by one. Tears of joy and anguish filled her. Her emotions all over the place. Elain gasped, her breath coming in deep pants as she looked to Nesta, eyes wide in shock. 

“Nesta?” Feyre asked, caution in her voice. 

“My-My daughter? I- Cassian and I are having a daughter?” Tears pricked the edge of her vison. 

“I-I didn’t mean to reveal that. I-I can’t stop the visions. I-I’m sorry Nesta. You shouldn’t have found out that way.” 

Nesta tried but failed to answer, not able to find the words. Her daughter. Their daughter. Nesta knew. Deep down she had always known. Like it had been destined to be this way. Like it had been written in the stars. But being inclined towards it and knowing it fully now were two different things. Cassian. She needed Cassian. Needed her mate, her husband, the father of her child their beside her.   
Springing to her feet, Nesta wrapped her arms around herself using the breathing and every bit of mind settling she had ever learned to calm herself. Cassian was in Windhaven. He needed to concentrate, and he couldn’t if her emotions were all over the place. She would talk to him when he came home tonight. Would show him everything through the Veritas orb when she got the chance. A few hours. All she would have to do is hold out for a couple of hours. A gentle hand caressed her inside her mind as she let Feyre in. The calm washing over her as she sat back down. 

“Nesta. I’m so sorry.” Elain cried as Nesta picked at her foot, her appetite long since forgotten, but took a bite anyway. 

“It’s alright. You couldn’t help it. Did-Did you see her?” Nesta asked. Elain nodded. 

“It was only a few glimpses of her, but-yes, I did see her. She’s-She’s beautiful Nesta.”

“As beautiful as the dawn.” Nesta murmured looking down at where her child-where her daughter was growing within her. “I-I don’t want to know what she looks like. I want to see my daughter for the first time when she’s born. If that makes sense.” 

“Perfectly.” Feyre agreed as Elain’s shoulders slumped. Her guilt showing in her face. She took her hand and squeezed. 

“I’m not mad, Elain.” 

“You’re not?” 

“No. I’m in shock, yes. I still had a month before I was supposed to know what the sex was, but I’m not mad. I- I guess I’m more nervous than anything. And I’ll have to tell Cassian of course. It’s not fair to keep these things from him. “

Nodding their understanding, her sisters squeezed her hands reassuringly 

“We’ll finish up our food and take you to get some clothes before we go see Madja today.”

Nesta could only nod in answer as Elain stared at her. 

“You have an appointment today?” Elain asked quietly. 

“Yes.” Nesta answered her mouth going dry. “To see if the baby has wings.” 

The words hung heavy between them, but the silence was enough to speak volumes. 

Two hours later, Nesta laid on the bed, Madja’s hand flattening on her stomach as Nesta turned her head to the side her baby’s- Her daughter’s heartbeat filling her ears. As she took a deep breath and gazed upon her daughter’s face. Nothing in this world was ever so beautiful as Madja’s voice filled her ears. 

“Your baby looks like their developing just fine. It may be another week or so before you feel any movement. Don’t get discouraged if you can’t feel them yet. Sometimes it takes time. From what we can see here, they’re moving around a lot in there.” 

Her hands moved slightly and pointing out everything she could until she finally said. “And here is where your baby is developing their wings.” Madja confirmed, tears prickling the edges of her vision. As she looked at her daughter. Their daughter and her wings. She had wings. Just like her father. 

“The baby has wings.” She stated looking at Feyre, her face going white. Knowing exactly where Nesta’s thoughts were going. 

“Yes. They’re right here. It appears as if they’ll be nice and strong when the baby becomes full term. But we’ll know more at your next appointment and we’ll also be able to see the sex of your baby if you’re still interested that is.”

Forcing herself to nod Madja, the healer packed up her stuff, Nesta waited until the healer had long since left before she placed her hand on her stomach and the tears feel as Feyre made her way to the bed and pulled Nesta to her, her tears falling on Feyre’s chest. 

“The baby has wings.” She whispered in the crook of Feyre’s neck. 

Feyre knew what Nesta felt, knew the fear. Not of the child and the wings they would have, but the challenges that her daughter would face because of them. 

“We won’t let anything happy to her Nesta. You won’t let anything happen to her. Cassian won’t let anything happen to her. And I swear Rhys and I will do everything in our power to make sure she’s safe. She has a whole force behind her, and she have the best parents to help her through it. “

“You think so?” Nesta asked looking up at Feyre. 

“I know so.”

Nesta smiled as she laid there with Feyre knowing that soon she would have to tell Cassian. Soon she would tell him about their baby. Their daughter. She didn’t know how he would react. But she knew whatever the case. They would face it together. 

Nesta sat on the edge of the bed after Feyre had dropped her off, the house giving her a heaping pile of food as Nesta inhaled the food wanting to think about anything besides the news she would have to tell Cassian when he came home. 

The door opened down below, the shutting of it sounding throughout the house, footsteps pounding up the stairs as Cassian entered the room, his face one of pure annoyance. 

“Rough day?” She asked as his eyes flickered to her own. 

“The roughest.” He answered crossing over to her and sitting beside her hands on her stomach. 

“What happened?” She asked wanting to hear about news other than her own. 

“The disturbance in the camps and outside of it isn’t getting any better. Things are getting intense and…”

“You’re afraid of another war.” Nesta finished as his hands ran over the bump. 

“Of course, I am. I always am. It’s even worse now because it’s not just me anymore. It’s not just my life anymore. I have you, I have the baby. Wh-What am I going to do if I get pulled into the fight? What happens if- “

Nesta placed her hand on top of his own. 

“We’ll weather whatever storm comes our way.” She promised him as he squeezed her hand in reassurance. 

“How was the appointment today?” he asked as she took a deep breath settling her mind. 

“The baby has wings.” She found herself saying. A smile illuminated his face as bright as the dawn. Beautiful. He was so beautiful. And the joy in his eyes. She had never seen such pure and utter joy from him. Not since… 

“The baby has wings.” He repeated his hand trailing over her stomach. She nodded, tears prickling her eyes. Ones of joy and sadness. 

Opening her mouth to tell him, to tell him about Elain’s vision. She had to do this. She had to tell them about the possible danger to their child. He had a right to know. As if sensing it, he looked up wiping at her tears. 

“Hey. Don’t worry. The baby will be alright. I’ll teach them how to fly and if not Azriel can. They’ll have the best teachers and… What’s wrong?” He asked forehead touching hers. “Nesta. Tell me. Whatever it is, you can tell me.” 

“The baby- “She started swallowing, taking another deep breath. “The baby is a girl.” 

“How-How did you know that? It-It’s too soon to- “

“Elain had a vision, about the baby-about our daughter- “She interrupted. “We’re having a daughter, Cassian.” 

Emotions swirled over Cassian’s face shock, fear, regret, remorse, before it finally stopped on a look of love so intense it took Nesta’s breath away. 

“We’re having a girl.” Cassian breathed looking deep into her eyes. 

“We’re having a girl. “Nesta smiled wanting nothing more than to share the happiness of this moment with him before realization hit him. 

“She has wings.” 

Nesta nodded letting her tears fall. He knew, he always did. A look of fierce protection crossed his face. 

“No one is going to touch her; I can promise you that. The Gods themselves can’t save a single person who brings harm to our daughter.” 

“There’s more.” She admitted pulling out the Veritas orb and showing her that memory. Cassian’s face went utterly slack. 

“A battlefield, she-She’s going to be born during a battle.” 

Nesta nodded the tears flowed as he lifted her chin and brought his mouth to hers. 

“The future can change.” He stated. 

“What if it doesn’t?” She asked. 

“Then we’ll weather whatever storm comes our way.” He answered, pulling a strand of her hair over her ear. 

She opened her mouth to say something-anything, before she jerked up, Cassian doing the same. 

“Did you just-?” Nesta asked as Cassian’s face broke in a grin. 

“I did.” Cassian laughed as she felt another movement. Her and Cassian’s daughter. She felt her. Her baby girl. Their daughter. Nothing had ever brought her such joy. Nothing else. No one else mattered in that moment. That’s when she looked at Cassian and the words tumbled out. 

“I want to make an unbreakable vow.” She started, Cassian’s eyes shot to hers, seriousness etching his features. More serious than she had ever saw him. 

“What is it?”

“I want to do better, be better than my parents-my mother. I want our daughter to be born in this world knowing that her parents would do anything for her.”

“She will. Nesta, you know she will.”

“Please let me finish.” She pleaded, he stayed silent, and she continued. 

“I know that my mistakes were my own, but I also knew my parents made their own. I’ve accepted that now, but it doesn’t mean that I still don’t remember the past. The feelings I bared, the feelings that you did. I-I don’t want our daughter to feel unloved. I don’t want her to feel neglected. That she can’t come to us with things that are troubling her I want to give her the best life. The one that she deserves. And that means putting her above each other as well.” 

“Nesta- “ 

“My dad was destroyed when he lost my mother- He lost himself. If one of us dies. I don’t want what happened to me and my sisters to happen to her. I need you to swear to me it won’t. She must be our main priority. Always.” 

His hand squeezed hers. 

“I need you to swear to me the same thing. If I die in battle-If I can’t be there to raise her-I need you to promise me that you will continue without me, to live to tell our daughters the stories of her father. To help her remember me even when I’m gone.” 

“I swear it.” She promised, his hand clasping on hers. 

“Then I swear it too.”

“Forever.” She promised shaking his hand. 

“Forever.” He swore as the shock passed through her, the tattoo forming by the tree on her back knowing that Cassian would have a matching one of her own. He turned her lowering down her dress, so Nesta could see it. The lightening coinciding with the tree on her back. Looking as if they were one. A promise marked. A vow that would never be broken.


	8. Forte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta and Cassian discuss names. The inner circle celebrate Mor and Emerie's anniversary.

“What about Athena?” Cassian asked, a hand on her stomach as Nesta’s nose scrunched up. 

“Feyre and Rhysand already named Nyx after a goddess. I don’t want to follow the same suite.”

“Noted. No naming our daughter after Gods or Goddesses.” 

A kick from their daughter passed between them. She had been kicking a lot lately. 

“I think she agrees.” Nesta smiled looking at the love consuming Cassian’s eyes. 

“What about your mother’s name?” She asked. Cassian’s eyes snapped up to meet hers. 

“You would name our daughter after my mother?” He asked. 

“Of course, I would. From what you told me she was one hell of a woman and I know she meant the world to you. Just like our daughter will. “

“I would love to honor my mother by naming our daughter after her, but as a middle name, not a first name.” 

Nesta’s eyebrows lifted in question, but Cassian answered. 

“I have a feeling that the name won’t fit her specifically and as much as I loved my mother, I want her name to be important to both of us.” 

“What was her first name?” 

“Roxana.” He stated, his eyes glazing over going somewhere else, someplace else. Another time. She squeezed his hand in reassurance. 

“It’s perfect.” She assured him, the baby kicking in approval, a chuckle escaping Cassian’s lips. 

“Now we just have to pick a first name for you, my little warrior.” Cassian answered, he had made the habit of talking to their daughter as soon as Madja had told them that she could hear their voices. 

Another kick answered his voice in return. 

“I think she loves the sound of your voice. She isn’t nearly as active when it’s just us.” 

“I just think she loves when I tell her war stories when you’re sleeping.” 

“You tell her war stories?” Nesta asked. 

“Just the tame ones. Mostly about the Gods, but don’t worry I don’t tell her the violent ones.” 

“I appreciate that.” Nesta smiled running her fingers up and down his hand. He looked up at her as she lowered her head down. Their lips meeting in a kiss of pure love and passion. 

Her lips parted as a moan sounded from the back of his throat. 

“Nesta.” He whispered as she got on top of him. 

“Make love to me Cassian.” She whispered bringing her mouth to his again. 

“With pleasure.” He breathed moving his mouth in time with hers and the world fell away. 

“I think I’m going to do it tonight.” Emerie stated making Nesta halt slightly, placing the last of the white lilies on the table. 

Emerie had asked Nesta to help set up for Mor’s birthday party and she jumped on the chance to say yes. Cassian would be coming later, but right now she couldn’t pass up the chance to spend some alone time with one of her favorite people. 

“Do what tonight?” Nesta asked, the smile on Emerie’s face illuminating. 

“I’m going to ask Mor to marry me.” Emerie announced.

Nesta’s eyes widened in shock before her face settled into a wide toothed grin. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. It feels …right.”

“Do you have the ring with you?” Nesta inquired. 

Emerie nodded pulling out the small velvet box and showing Nesta the simple ruby ring that laid there.

“It’s not much, but- “

“I’m sure she’ll love it.” Nesta assured her, clasping her friend’s hands. “Have you told Gwyn?”

“No. Not yet, but I want as few people to know about it as possible. Which means no telling Cassian.” Emerie instructed fixing Nesta with a look. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Nesta promised as the door opened and Emerie shoved the ring in her pocket. 

“Sorry I’m late, the lines were crazy.” Elain said rushing in with bags of food in her hands. Nesta jumped up and took one from her. 

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” 

“Feyre and Rhysand should be here soon. Feyre’s having trouble with leaving Nyx with the servants. It’s the first time she’s left him with anyone besides one of us.” 

Nesta nodded her understanding knowing that in a matter of months she would also have to face that dilemma. She just hoped she would have a lot of time with her daughter before she would face that challenge. 

“How is my niece doing?” Elain asked her hand going to Nesta’s stomach.

“She’s been very active today.” Nesta grinned running her hands over her bump. “She’s been kicking non-stop.”

“She’s started kicking?” Feyre asked making her way over to them. Nesta hadn’t even heard her come in. 

“She has. It surprised me at first, but now I’m getting used to it. She’s more active when Cassian is around. You should feel her kick than.” 

“Barely twenty-two weeks in the womb and she’s already a daddy’s girl.” Feyre teased looking pointedly at Rhys. “Nyx was the same way.” 

“Just watch. She’ll also come out looking like Cassian just like Nyx looks like Rhysand.” 

Elain had made it a point to stay silent on that one. She had already seen her daughter’s face and who she looked like, but Feyre answered. 

“Figures we carry them in us for ten months only for them to come out looking like their dads.” Feyre answered, Rhys only shrugged.

Nesta ran her hand on the bump, her daughter kicking her, Feyre, and Elain in answer as Elain pulled her hand away, closing it. Afraid to reveal too much to Nesta if her visions revealed something again.

“If your visions reveal pivotal information about my daughter please don’t hesitate to keep me informed. I want to protect her however I can.”

Nodding, Elain squeezed Nesta’s hand as Feyre squeezed the other. Nesta knew it would take a while for them to repair what years of miscommunication had broke in their family, but she would do everything in her power to keep on trying with her sisters. 

The door opened as Cassian emerged from it, clad in his night court finery. A look that had always made her mouth water. He gave a nod of greeting to the others before making his way over to Nesta, Elain, and Feyre. Azriel close on his heels, Elain’s gaze sweeping over him. 

A dazzling smile crossed Cassian’s succulent face as Feyre, and Elain took a step back so he could pull Nesta closer. 

“Hello mate.” He murmured placing his hand on her bump. “Hello my little warrior. How are my girls doing?” 

“As good as expected. She’s been super active today, so much that she’s been pushing on my bladder.” 

“Giving mommy a hard time with those round house kicks.” Cassian cooed making Nesta’s heart soften. 

As if she had heard him, another kick answered making Nesta wince at the force of it. 

“Seems to me like she’s practicing in there already. Just wait my little warrior when you’re old enough, Me, mom, and everyone else will train you how to be a warrior proper. If that’s what you want to do.” 

“What’s that?” she asked pointing to the bags she hadn’t seen earlier. 

“Well one if Mor’s present and the other is for you.” He replied giving it to her. 

“You got me a present for Mor’s birthday?” She teased as he handed it to her. 

“Not exactly.” He answered as she took the bag and opened it with a laugh. 

“You got me chocolate cake?”

“What can I say I have your pregnancy cravings down to a science.” 

“I appreciate that. Thank you.” She said leaning up and kissing him, short and sweet. Before grabbing the fork, he had put in the bag and digging in. 

“I don’t even want to ask what else is in that chocolate cake.” Rhys stated. Cassian shrugged. 

“Should it matter?” He asked, Nesta licked her lips  
.   
“No. I just remember how random Feyre’s were. “ 

“They weren’t that random.” Feyre argued earning a look from Rhys. 

“You almost threw a shoe at my head because you didn’t have any milk for your chicken.” 

Cassian cringed slightly at the thought but decided not to say anything about it. Nesta’s craving weren’t that much better. 

“I’m going to see if I can’t help Emerie with the food.” Elain said as Azriel looked at her. 

“I’ll help.” 

“Alright.” She stated as they made their way towards the kitchen, Rhys observed them with watchful eyes. She wondered what that was about. 

“So, when does that birthday girl show up?” Nesta asked changing the subject. 

“Around six.” Feyre answered looking carefully over her shoulder as if Mor would pop up and ruin her own surprise party. 

“In that case, we better get the rest of this party set up.” Nesta replied slipping her hand in Cassian’s and taking him over to Emerie to get their next task. 

“Surprise!!!” The room erupted startling Mor who had been holding onto Emerie’s hand. A hand went to her chest as a smile bloomed on her face. 

Cassian went over to Mor pulling her in a tight hug. 

“Happy birthday.” He gleamed ruffling her hair. 

“Thank you.” Mor smiled stepping back and interlacing her fingers with Emerie’s once more. 

Cassian stepped back over to Nesta throwing an arm over her shoulder and pulling her closer.

“You did all this for me?” Mor asked turning her attention to Emerie whose blush settled across her cheeks. 

“Of course, I did. My girlfriend deserves the best after all.” Emerie stated squeezing her hand tighter and kissing her cheek. 

“You make me the happiest girl in the world.” Mor answered another blush answering her compliment. 

“Do you think we should leave them alone?” Cassian muttered as Nesta took in Mor and Emerie who were staring at each other as if they were the only two people in the world.

“I think it would be in our best interest.” Nesta replied taking his hand and leading him over to where Gwyn was having a conversation with Viviane, taking note of Nesta as they approached. 

“Hey Nesta, Cassian. Viviane and I were just having a conversation about what winter solstice is like in the winter court. I’ve never been, and I’ve always wanted to visit for a solstice.” Gwyn stated earning a genuine smile from Viviane. 

Nesta couldn’t help the smile that formed on her lips. That when she met Gwyn two years ago, the thought of going anywhere besides the library terrified her. But now she had made more of an effort to go out and about. She still had trouble with the thought of leaving the night court in general, but this was progress. 

“I bet it’s lovely around this time of year.” Nesta replied as Viviane looked at her. 

“We’ve been getting hit hard with a few snowstorms, but we’re managing. Holly keeps me on my toes that the time passes by faster.” 

Kallis and Viviane’s daughter had been born three months after Nyx had been Nesta recalled. The daughter was just as beautiful as her parents and from what Nesta had heard the Winter Court absolutely adored her. 

“Have they told you what you’re having?” Viviane asked gesturing towards her bump. 

“Madja says it’s a girl.” Cassian gleamed. He always loved telling people. 

“How wonderful. You two must be excited.” Viviane replied. 

“Of course. We can’t wait until she’s here.” Cassian stated. 

Viviane answered with a nod before turning her attention back to Gwyn and Nesta. 

“I heard you two along with Emerie were working on reforming the Valkyrie. How is that coming along?”

Gwyn’s eyes shone with pride. 

“We’ve missed Nesta these past few months, but we’re building our ranks. Progress is still slow, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy.” 

“No. It’s not.” Viviane agreed. 

Nesta had heard a lot about Viviane and what she had to do to keep her court afloat. The female had sacrificed so much. Not just for her mate, but for her court as well. Nesta couldn’t help but admire her.   
“Viviane!” Mor exclaimed throwing her arms around her dearest friend. “Have I introduced you to my girlfriend, Emerie?” 

“Girlfriend? It seems like you and I have a lot to catch up on.” Viviane teased giving Emerie a quick once over before saying “Hi, I’m Viviane. High Lady of the Winter Court.” 

“Pleasure to meet you.” Emerie smiled looking over to Mor. 

“Have you seen Elain?” Feyre asked coming up behind her and making her jump slightly. 

Frowning, she turned to Feyre searching for any signal of worry or impending danger. 

“No. I haven’t seen her for a while. Is something wrong?” 

“No. Not at all. I haven’t seen her since she- “Feyre halted her words stiffening slightly. 

“I’ll help you look for her. I need some fresh air anyway.” 

She squeezed Cassian’s hand leaving him to converse with the others as she and Feyre made their way out to the walkway that led out to Elain’s garden. The moon illuminating the path as Feyre broke the silence. 

“How are you holding up? Truthfully.” 

Nesta let out a deep breath and turned to Feyre. 

“I feel-like my emotions are all over the place, some days I’m overjoyed, I’m excited and elated, because I want to meet her and share this journey with Cassian, but another part of me- “

“Is terrified?” 

“Exactly. And Cassian is so happy, and I want to share everything I’m feeling with him, but there are some things that I’m feeling that he can’t understand.” 

“I can try my best to help you with that.” 

“We started to toss around names for the baby today.” Nesta admitted and without her even needing to say it, Feyre understood. 

“And it pained you that mother’s name never came into consideration?”

“It didn’t feel right to me, not after- “

“I understand.” 

“A part of me is angry.” Nesta admitted, but Feyre stayed silent. “A part of me is angry because it’s not supposed to be this way. She was our mom, and some days it felt like-like she was all I had. But I know now that that wasn’t true. Some parts of her-of how she treated all her daughters, you especially. It wasn’t right. None of it was right.” 

“Our mother made her own choices, but it doesn’t mean we have to follow in her footsteps. All we must do is not lose sight of what truly matters. “

“That’s easier said than done.” 

“I know what you’re thinking-but Nesta, you are not our mother. I see the love that you feel for your daughter, it was the same love I felt for my son, I sense your concern for her. And I know you’ll put her first no matter what it cost you. Elain and Cassian can see it too. You just need to have more faith in yourself.”

“I pray to the mother that you’re right.” 

“Did you ever decide a name for her?” Feyre asked passing by the rose bushes careful not to scratch herself on the thorns. 

“Not yet. I suggested Cassian’s mother’s name, but he said he would prefer it to be her middle name.”

“It must have meant the world to him that you even considered it.” 

“I know how much he misses her. I wish I could have met her.” 

“I wish I could have met Rhysand’s mother too. She made most of the dresses I wear.” 

“Really?” Nesta asked surprised. 

“What can I say, she was a hell of a woman from what I heard.”

“How did you decide Nyx’s name? Like was there ever a specific feeling?”

“As much as it may sound cliché, you just know when you know. It may come to you during a specific moment, but when it finally does. It’ll sound perfect to you and to Cassian.” 

Nesta nodded about to start on another conversation as a gasp came from further up in the garden. 

“Did that sound like-?” Feyre started. 

“Elain.” Nesta confirmed as they rushed to where they heard their sister thinking she needed aid until they found her stopping dead in their tracks as Elain pushed Azriel off her pulling back up the top of her dress, a deep blush settling on her cheeks at the interruption. Nesta had no real clue what to say. She knew Elain and Azriel had a flirtation. Knew that Azriel had given the necklace intended for Elain to Gwyn, but she didn’t know that they were still-involved. 

“Feyre. Nesta. What are you two doing out here?” She asked a bit flustered. 

“We could ask you the same question.” Nesta teased. 

“What’s going on?” Another voice asked as Nesta and Feyre turned to see Mor and Emerie walking hand in hand, Emerie shoved the ring she was about to pull out back in her pocket seeming more than a little annoyed. “Azriel? Elain?” 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake is everyone going to come into the garden. Is the whole party getting moved here or what?” Elain bulked. Nesta had never seen her so annoyed. 

“Emerie wanted to see how the gardens were coming along.” Mor explained. 

“I didn’t think anyone would be out here. Sorry for the interruption. We can leave if you two- “

“Don’t bother.” Elain spat making her way back to the house shoving her way past everybody. 

“I should go check on her.” Azriel murmured following her back inside.

“We should get back as well.” Nesta blurted out grabbing Feyre’s arm. She knew why Emerie had wanted to take Mor out to the rose gardens, and she didn’t want to ruin her friend’s big moment. “We’ll see you two later.” 

Emerie waved them off grabbing Mor’s hand as Feyre and Elain made their way back to the house, Feyre muttered something about needing to use the bathroom as Nesta made her way back to Cassian. 

“Hey.” She smiled. 

“Hey. If you’re still looking for Elain, she came back in here like a bat from hell. I’m not sure what that was about.” 

“Let’s just say there are some things that I can’t even tell you.” Nesta smiled as she looked to where random guest were slow dancing to the music. 

“In that case, care to dance?” Cassian asked outstretching his hand out to her. 

“I’d love to.” She smiled grabbing his hand and leading him onto the dance floor. She always loved dancing with Cassian. 

“I could dance with you forever.” Cassian admitted pulling back to look at her. “It reminds me of when we first danced together.” 

“That’s a memory that I could never forget.” She stated remembering that night. How Cassian had pulled her away from Eris. How he made the room fall away. How he made everything fall away. Just with one look. 

And seeing him now, she loved him. She loved him more than any force in this world besides one other. The child that she would soon bare. The proof of the music between their souls. 

“That’s it.” She whispered suddenly everything falling into place. 

“What’s it?” Cassian asked. 

“I have an idea for her name.” She said pulling him closer and whispering it in his ear. He pulled back placing a hand on her abdomen. 

“I love it. What do you think, Little warrior?” 

A kick answered him as Nesta smiled. 

“I think we found our daughter’s name.” Cassian agreed. Love in his eyes leaning down to kiss her feeling as if they were the only three in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this lighter and fluffier chapter. Next couple of chapters will be the winter solstice chapters. I honestly can't wait to write them ;)


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